... and we are merely monkey's

Congratulations, you just wasted 23 1/2 seconds of your lifeSo what is MonkeyGuano, you may ask... Well thank you for asking. A Monkey is a primate from which all humans originated, unless of course you believe that apple and horny Teenager story. And Guano, well that is Poop, particularly the poop of Birds and Bats, but I stole it for monkey's. After all, if Paris Hilton can make an album, Monkey's can sure as hell squirt a little Guano out of their ass.Oh, I guess that really didn't answer your question... OK 42.Cheers,

Thursday, May 15, 2008


OK, this is just nuts. I guess MILEY CYRUS was in a GOT MILK ad and some perverts are out there searching for it because they figure it is sexually loaded. I guess Elementary School just let out and all the silly tweens perverted pedofiles have decided to search for MILEY CYRUS SEX TAPE because they wanted to spank da monkey to her ugly milk covered mug.

I guess this all arose from MILEY CYRUS hanging out with Sex tape star Kim Kardashian. Go figure.

Here is something else I found on the topic which pretty much echo's how I feel The Source is http://watchtvsitcoms.blogspot.com

Miley Cyrus Sex Tape

You pervert! How dare you even consider reading about the Miley Cyrus Sex Tape?

There is no Miley Cyrus sex tape for three more years. Until then, you can see her GOT MILK ad:


I am not going to post it here because most people would consider it perverted. But even more scary is how many people are searching for the Miley Cyrus Sex Tape today...

I could sit here all night and make jokes about how stupid Miley Cyrus is. Like, they asked her what the capital of California is, and she said "C".

Or how she was on the plane with the Pope and there were only 2 parachutes. Miley jumps out of the plane, and the pilot and the Pope argue about who gets the last parachute. The Pope says not to worry because Miley jumped out with his briefcase. Of course, this joke doesn't make any sense because the Pope doesn't carry a briefcase - he keeps the Vaseline and condoms in his cape!

I am not going to sit here and continue to make jokes about how Miley Cyrus is an idiot, because I will just end up with a whole bunch of hate mail. So I will make tasteless jokes about her:

What has 10,000 arms, 10,000 legs, 5,000 heads, and an IQ of 8?
5,000 fans at a Miley Cyrus concert!

You know what, forget it. I can't write any jokes about her that don't involve how much of a stupid redneck she is. I mean, she went on the Jay Leno show and drank ketchup from the bottle like it was water! I don't even know what to say. Oh yes, it is bad etiquette to drink ketchup from the bottle - you can only eat it with fried squirrel!

Sunday, May 4, 2008


OK, this is just screaming for some Monkey Poop. Apparently a bunch of basement dwelling virgins have deemed May 4th Starwars day... Something to do with "May the Fourth be with you"
Come on people, it was a movie about a guy in an ape costume and a robot made out of tin cans and a few flashing Christmas tree bulbs!!! I guess I can give them 1 Monkey poop credit for the cheesy usage of Fourth instead of force and a kind of pathetic attempt to get layed... But that is it. Time to get out of your parents basement people. This is the time of your you can dress up like dorks and go out to meet others of your kind.

4 out of 5 Flying monkey turds for the wiener who thought up Star Wars Day.

Thursday, May 1, 2008

Chad Kroeger (Turton) and Paris Hilton - Siamese Twins Separated at Birth

Ya ok, sounds a little far fetched but think about it. Two whinny little prissy asses who think they can buy their way out of anything they do wrong. Both of them got drunk and sat behind the wheel of their car. Both were busted, both bitched moaned and complained about their punishments.

The thing is, at least Paris Hilton did spend a few days in the can, ok so she puked and played sick to try and get out. Chad Kroeger, on the other hand, was just issued a $600 fine as well as 1 year prohibition from driving. So what does little Chaddy do? He gets his Lawyer to whine and bitch about it. Apparently it is unfair for him because he has to drive into Vancouver from his Abbotsford Ranch. Oh come on, you have a fucking recording studio in a converted barn and you have more than enough money to pay someone to drive you. For that matter, have one of the other band members drive you... Maybe your Fiance can sit behind the wheel as you sit in the passenger seat. Oh but of course not, Little Chad is too good for that...

Hey Chad, I hear Paris Hilton is looking for a new best friend. It seems like you two have alot in common, why not try out.

And to think, I used to listen to Nickelback, Chad's recent actions make me embarrassed to admit to that fact.

5/5 Piles of Goopy Monkey Poop for Chad's Stupidity