... and we are merely monkey's

Congratulations, you just wasted 23 1/2 seconds of your lifeSo what is MonkeyGuano, you may ask... Well thank you for asking. A Monkey is a primate from which all humans originated, unless of course you believe that apple and horny Teenager story. And Guano, well that is Poop, particularly the poop of Birds and Bats, but I stole it for monkey's. After all, if Paris Hilton can make an album, Monkey's can sure as hell squirt a little Guano out of their ass.Oh, I guess that really didn't answer your question... OK 42.Cheers,

Monday, September 22, 2008

Jamie Lynn Spears Breast Feeding

Those familiar with me and my blogs know I do most of my blogging while I sit on the toilet taking my morning dump. What does this have to do with Jamie Lynn Spears and this whole issue of Leaked (Stolen) breast feeding pictures??? Well nothing really.

So anyways, from how the story goes, Casey Aldridge decided to take some cell phone pictures of Jamie Lynn Spears breast feeding. Of course Casey is just like any 19 year old male so her nipple was showing. The wierd thing is, with technology the way it is today and the ability of pretty much anyone to run pictures off at home, Casey, the rocket scientist, decided to take the pictures to Walmart to be developed....


Casey, if by some strange miracle you can actually read, did you fall off the turnip truck or something? When god was handing out brains, did you think the said trains and subsequently asked for a wind-up set?

Jamie Lynn's Sister, Britney is the most sought after personality on the internet. Newspapers, the internet and TV shows are riddled with useless and very personal information about the Spears Family. Did you really think some minimum wage lackey at Walmart would keep a million dollar opportunity like STOLEN PICTURES OF JAMIE LYNN SPEARS BREASTFEEDING a secret?

Shit, the title of this blog alone will bring in thousands of perverts (Speaking of which... get a life people.) Why would anyone want to see pictures of a 16 year old JAMIE LYNN SPEARS NAKED?

This is shit!!! Oh ya, there is the parallel.

Sunday, September 14, 2008


OK, coming from Texas and Louisiana, this story is bound to be filled with stupidity as a result of the gene pool alone.

So, the Gulf Coast of Texas and Louisiana was hit by HURRICANE IKE over the weekend. Yes, this is definitely a sad thing. Thousands of homes were damaged by torrential winds, ran and thundering waves. Of course, readers of this blog will know this article is defiantly not about human compassion and understanding. ALTHOUGH I DO FEEL COMPASSION FOR THE INNOCENT WHO LOST THEIR HOMES THROUGH NO FAULT OF THEIR OWN.

Now onto the meat and guts of this post.


Apparently rescue workers in Texas are now sifting through the Rubble searching for those who refused to evacuate. Say what, people actually wanted to stay behind?? Did they think they could save their house with a bilge pump and fucking ice cream bucket????

Even me, sitting up here in Canada, the land of complacency, could see the signs. Satellite imagery showed HURRICANE IKE totally engulfing the GULF OF MEXICO just a day prior to the hit. The EYE OF THE HURRICANE was obviously heading for the Texas coast and anyone with half a brain should have known it would not:

a: Switch directions and head back to Cuba "Because the are um bad people and God hates dem dere bad peoples"

b: Totally dissipate by the time it hit land.

I read an article this morning and ran into some interesting quotes. Here they are for your amusement and wonder:

"I falled in the attic," Jack told paramedic Stanley Hempstead of his 10-foot tumble through the attic and onto the garage floor.

Grammar aside, what the fuck was he doing in the Attic... High winds people....

"We just didn't think it was going to come up like this," said the boy's father, Lee King. "I'm from New Orleans, I know better. I just didn't think it was going to happen."

Do I really need to comment on this one?

So now to the point of this blog. Honestly, the intent was not to poke fun at the less intelligent.
Texas being the home state of Dubya, Hurricane IKE Rescue efforts are going to be costly. There seems to be more money tossed into the "Rescue the Texan fund" than was spent on Katrina efforts.
What do you think about this?
First of all, the importance placed on this rescue over all others.
Secondly, should the US taxpayer have to be on the hook for rescuing those who refused to follow warnings like "Leave or you will face CERTAIN DEATH." Now how much more serious of a warning do you need?

Feel free to comment or insult me for my callus uncaring blog
I have posted a vote on the topic HERE