... and we are merely monkey's

Congratulations, you just wasted 23 1/2 seconds of your lifeSo what is MonkeyGuano, you may ask... Well thank you for asking. A Monkey is a primate from which all humans originated, unless of course you believe that apple and horny Teenager story. And Guano, well that is Poop, particularly the poop of Birds and Bats, but I stole it for monkey's. After all, if Paris Hilton can make an album, Monkey's can sure as hell squirt a little Guano out of their ass.Oh, I guess that really didn't answer your question... OK 42.Cheers,

Wednesday, June 24, 2009

Girl killed by Laptop

Let me start out by saying, this is truly a sad situation, however, it does deserve mention in this blog and perhaps a submission to the Darwin Awards.

It seems a young girl in Romania zapped herself because she plugged her laptop into the wall WHILE IN THE BATH TUB. Do I really have to say anything else about it? Here is the article:

Maria Barbu, 17, of Brasov, Romania, is said to have been plugging her laptop into wall current at the time, after "the battery died during a long session on social networking site Twitter as she took a soak."

Additional details are lacking, and are unlikely to be forthcoming anytime soon. And it's unclear whether the laptop slipped from her hands or if she was so wet that the water dripping off of her closed the circuit and caused the shock.

Either way, any technology user should know by now that computers and bathrooms simply don't mix. (If you aren't worried about electrocution, think of the germs, won't you?) While GFCI circuits were designed to prevent tragedies such as the all-too-common hair-dryer-in-the-tub accident, they aren't perfect, and they aren't universal, especially overseas.

Monday, June 22, 2009

Perez Hilton Assault or Publicity Stunt

In another desperate grasp for attention, obnoxious celebrity blog ferry Perez Hilton has started his own little twitter frenzy.

Only a few days after the Lindsay Lohan Twitter breast picture thingy, Perez Hilton decided to use his Twitter account to publicize an apparent assault. Whether or not Will.I.Am from the Black Eyed Peas really did beat the crap out of Perez Hilton or not, the world sure is looking for information on it.

Here is the apparent dialogue from Perez Hilton's Twitter

"I'm in shock. I need the police ASAP. Please come to the SoHo Metropolitan Hotel now. Please."

"I was assaulted by Will.I.Am of the Black Eyed Peas and his security guards. I am bleeding. Please I need to file a police report. No joke."

"Still waiting for the police. The bleeding has stopped. I need to document this. Please can the police come to the SoHo Met Hotel."

Aside from the obvious stupidity of "Why did he not call the police" the question of how can a person in shock know they are in shock and be lucid enough to send Twitter messages. Shit, he even capitalized the letters which needed to be capped. I can't believe I am even glorifying his stupidity by posting this