... and we are merely monkey's

Congratulations, you just wasted 23 1/2 seconds of your lifeSo what is MonkeyGuano, you may ask... Well thank you for asking. A Monkey is a primate from which all humans originated, unless of course you believe that apple and horny Teenager story. And Guano, well that is Poop, particularly the poop of Birds and Bats, but I stole it for monkey's. After all, if Paris Hilton can make an album, Monkey's can sure as hell squirt a little Guano out of their ass.Oh, I guess that really didn't answer your question... OK 42.Cheers,

Thursday, December 18, 2008

BURGER KING BODY SPRAY - BURGER KING Steps into the Viral marketing ring

VIRAL MARKETING - The New IT Form of public awareness

It seems to have started with a department store and their VIRAL "DOGHOUSE" commercial disguised as an Internet joke then it moved to BERLITZ and their spoof on the GERMAN COASTGUARD which played on the German "TH" accent impediment.

Not to be outdone, BURGER KING has gone all RED GREEN on us. It seems they are talking about marketing a Beef scented body spray. As you can see in the picture above, their website features a picture of a NAKED BURGER KING covered only by... what else, a dead animal skin.

BURGER KING is calling their new COLOGNE, FLAME and apparently it smells just like their burger. I guess if the

doesn't get the wearer devoured by a pack of hungry dogs, it will at least remind people of the smell of salt, cow blood and fat grilling over an open FLAME, perhaps reminding them of McDonalds, Wendy's or even BURGER KING.

Don't get me wrong, I am definitely a fan of cooking dead cow, add a little Ground Bison and ground pig and you have a thing of beauty. Far better than any WHOPPER.

Here is the write up from the BURGER KING WEBSITE talking about the new BURGER KING BODY SPRAY - FLAME.

I am not exactly sure who would be attracted to the scent other then hungry carnivores, but there’s a new cologne on the market just in time for the holidays. Burger King is releasing a men’s body spray/cologne called “Flame,” which they are describing as “the scent of seduction with a hint of flame-broiled meat.”

We don’t make this stuff up, honest. We’re not sure which is worse, wearing a cologne called “Flame” or smelling like a hamburger. Perhaps they should name the cologne ‘Meat’?

Anyway it’s not going to cost you an arm and a leg to smell flame broiled. The ‘Home of the Whopper’ began selling the body spray for $4 a bottle over the weekend on their Web site and at Rickey’s, a New York City retailer.

VIRAL ADVERTISING is becoming the new thing, combine this with an effective SEARCH ENGINE OPTIMIZATION(SEO) PROGRAM. If you are interested in creating your own VIRAL MARKETING SEO CAMPAIGN check out HTBWMedia

Tuesday, December 16, 2008

Sondra Fortunato the Attention Whore

Someone, please get this woman a clue.
Sondra Fortunato is the self proclaimed Miss Football. Sondra also claims to ba a Miss Liberty model as well as a few other things. I don't mean to sound like I am getting down on a person for her desire to reach for success, however, false hope and 15 minutes at the cost of dignity is another story.

It seems Sondra's most recent stunt has her up in Googles rankings as fishnet Santa. The story goes, Sondra Fortunato was attending a "Giants of New York" football game when she was ejected for her attire, or lack thereof. I know Pamela Anderson was originally discovered at a BC Lions Football game and I'm sure this is what Sondra Fortunato is reaching for, but come on Woman, GET A CLUE. Does the world need yet another lipstick princess wannabe.

Here is the recent story of Sondra Fortunato

Apparently the NFL doesn't want any more wardrobe scandals. Last Sunday the New York Giants brass told the team's unofficial cleavage queen, Sondra Fortunato, to cover it up or go home.

Sondra told the Post that she was escorted to the security office and told she should change her fashion statement:

They said, 'Can't you come to the stadium dressed like a regular person?' They said there were a lot of kids there."
She insists there was nothing naughty about her outfit.

"Nothing was showing. You couldn't even see my underwear. I don't flash!"
The Giants claim the problem was not her clothes but the suitcase she carries and the big signs she brings into the stadium. But as the Post points out, no one stopped her or confiscated her bag and signs on the way into the game.

In any case, Sondra covered herself with a sweater. But she still doesn't see why she can't display her assets.She said:

I love the Giants! I'm a flamboyant dresser and I'm well-endowed.

Look, I'm a middle-aged woman. ... But Madonna goes out and she's got everything hanging out, and she's middle-aged!"
There you have it, folks. You knew someone was going to say it out loud sooner or later.

Sondra, get a clue, Madonna uses her boobs as props in her singing and dancing. Since you have no talent, what are your boobs a prop for?

If you are interested in the loud and obnoxious, feel free to check out these PICTURES OF SONDRA FORTUNATO the Self proclaimed Miss Football

Sunday, December 7, 2008

Gap Casting Call - All the world is a cage

So today's hot search seems to be the Gap casting call. From doing a little research it seems Baby Gap is on the hunt for America's Cutest kids. Gap will select 20 finalists from the millions of pushy parents who submitted pictures of their child in hopes of fame and fortune (Probably a little bragging rights in there too.)

The thing is, do these parent look at the news? Do they see what is happening to other child "stars" like Britney Breakdown Spears, Miley Cyrus, The Olsen Twins and Gary Coleman (Who still looks the same as he did when he was on TV), to name just a few. Hollywood is an evil place and childhood fame is a seed to future dysfunction.

So parents, as you sit there voting for your child over and over again on the Gap Casting call website, take some time to enjoy your child as their innocence will soon be replaced with entitlement issues and drug addiction.

Either way, the GAP CASTING CALL is now over and the Gap casting call vote for the cutest babies in America will start on Monday December 8th.