... and we are merely monkey's

Congratulations, you just wasted 23 1/2 seconds of your lifeSo what is MonkeyGuano, you may ask... Well thank you for asking. A Monkey is a primate from which all humans originated, unless of course you believe that apple and horny Teenager story. And Guano, well that is Poop, particularly the poop of Birds and Bats, but I stole it for monkey's. After all, if Paris Hilton can make an album, Monkey's can sure as hell squirt a little Guano out of their ass.Oh, I guess that really didn't answer your question... OK 42.Cheers,

Saturday, January 31, 2009

BUY YOUR WAY OUT OF THE RECESSION - A new low for Consumer Stupidity

“BUY OUR WAY OUT OF THE RECESSION” This is the short sighted message from many politicians of the day. The point these buerocrats seem to be missing is consumer stupidity is one of the underlying factors in the creation of our current financial meltdown.
For the past few years, I have always said, “Consumer Stupidity is at an all time high” Too many people were borrowing beyond their means just so they could keep up with the Smiths’. From the over inflated consumer driven real estate market to the stock market frenzy consumers were buying up everything they could find because savvy market researchers knew how to pull their strings.

Real Estate agents would say “buy buy buy” bankers were offering sub-prime mortgages and there never seemed to be an end to “Low Interest Introductory Rates” for the biggest Douche Bags of them all… The Credit Card Companies.
Of course, we cannot put all the blame on the sales people, the consumer ultimately made the final decision on whether or not to believe what they were being told. Unfortunately, the average consumer is driven by fear and necessity and the sales people used those liberally when marketing to the Consumer Monkey. And like any well trained monkey, the consumers replied in droves.

The thing which really confuses me is how the government can sit there with a straight face and say to only way out of the recession is to buy our way out. Although the financial logic is there, this only really helps if the consumer spends wisely and does not borrow beyond their means for this recession buy out scheme. Consumers are already facing bankruptcy at an alarming rate and world currency is being strained to proportions not seen since the Great Depression of the 30’s. So before you fall for this “Recession Buy Out” option, ask yourself this. “Do you I have the money to pay off this purchase?” If the answer is no, then JUST SAY NO TO CONSUMER STUPIDITY!!!

Monday, January 26, 2009


In a cross between the Darwin Awards and the Bubba variety show, the promoter of a MONSTER TRUCK event in MADISON WI. died in a tragic accident on Saturday night.

Aside from the obvious stupidity of MONSTER TRUCKS in general, what really makes this story disturbing is how everyone seems to want to watch the MONSTER TRUCK ACCIDENT VIDEO... Maybe for some pointers on their own back yard routine.

The sad part is, earlier this month, a 6 year old boy was killed at a Tacoma Monster Truck show.

he veteran driver whose vehicle killed a promoter at a monster truck show told investigators he never saw the man walk into his path, authorities said.

It was the nation's second fatal accident at a monster truck show in a little over a week.

George Eisenhart Jr. suffered severe internal injuries when he was hit by the huge truck Saturday at the Motor Sports Monster Truck & Thrill Show at the Dane County Coliseum, the coroner said. The show was immediately halted.

The big blue truck with oversize tires was driven by its owner, Daniel Patrick, who authorities said has been a driver on the circuit for more than 20 years.

Amateur video broadcast on television showed a man walking in front of the truck.

"Our preliminary investigation shows neither Eisenhart nor the truck driver saw each other before the collision," Coroner John Stanley said at a news conference Sunday.

Authorities said Patrick would not be charged. Sheriff Dave Mahoney said it appeared all safety precautions had been taken and called the death "a very tragic accident."

Oddly enough, BC ATTORNEY GENERAL, WALLY OPAL, figures an outdated section of the Criminal code making POLYGAMY (Having more than 1 wife) an indictable offence under the Criminal Code of Canada. The thing is, like the same sex marriage laws, the Polygamy law is steeply based on outdated Catholic religious principles.

Since the church was so closely connected to government during the time these laws were created, they did not seem all that out of line at the time. Since then, religious and cultural diversification has created a definite division between the Church and State. In fact, several Courts have indicated the Government has no place in the bedrooms of consenting adults in a Democratic society. A prime example is the overturning of Same Sex Marriage laws in many jurisdictions.

This brings me to the question, what the Fuck is Wally thinking???? That was a rhetorical question by the way. With Courts overturning laws depriving same sex couples the right to wed, what makes Wally Opal think the Courts will not do the very same thing for POLYGAMIST MARRIAGES? In a Radio statement today, WALLY OPAL even went as far to say "Right thinking Citizens will not allow this practice to continue." Is this the same "Right Thinking" group of citizens that previously shunned same sex marriages?

Personally, I feel going after a criminal conviction based on outdated Church based laws is a colossal waste of time. Aside from the Freedom of Religion defense, the BOUNTIFUL POLYGAMISTS have the Gay marriage precedence on their side. I understand the Government wants and needs a conviction against these douche bags, but their current direction will do nothing but bring strength to the whole POLYGAMIST COMMUNITY OF BOUNTIFUL once the POLYGAMIST LAW is overturned and deemed unconstitutional.



Friday, January 2, 2009

Kathy Griffin and the D-Word - The Growing list of Banned Words

I remember as a kid there were certain words which we could not say, or were at least told not to say. In their place we used phrases such as "Mommy, Jimmy said the F-Word." There were several of these words, Fuck was the F Word, Shit is the S word, Cunt is the C word, of in some cases the K-word.

Later in our lives, political correctness came into play and we were told not to say Nigger... unless of course you were black you could say it as a term of endearment or some sort of community building word. To the rest of us, it was to be known as the "N-word" and never to be uttered or suffer the label of a Racist Crackerjack.

As if all these rules were not enough, those lovely people over at CNN and joe broomstick up the ass have all of a sudden created this "D-Word" which, for those not following along, is in reference to DICK, as in Penis, Cock or for those less literate the Male sexual organ.

You see, in the KATHY GRIFFIN ANDERSON COOPER NEW YEARS EVE CNN SPECIAL with ANDERSON COOPER, KATHY GRIFFIN got all pissed off about being heckled and said" SHUT UP, You don't see me coming to your workplace and knocking the DICK OUT OF YOUR MOUTH" Or something to that extent. So KATHY GRIFFIN SAID DICK, or to some of you KATHY GRIFFIN SAID the D WORD. GET OVER IT

For those who missed it, you can watch the events unfold at KATHY GRIFFIN's BLOG http://suckitjesus.blogspot.com/