... and we are merely monkey's

Congratulations, you just wasted 23 1/2 seconds of your lifeSo what is MonkeyGuano, you may ask... Well thank you for asking. A Monkey is a primate from which all humans originated, unless of course you believe that apple and horny Teenager story. And Guano, well that is Poop, particularly the poop of Birds and Bats, but I stole it for monkey's. After all, if Paris Hilton can make an album, Monkey's can sure as hell squirt a little Guano out of their ass.Oh, I guess that really didn't answer your question... OK 42.Cheers,

Tuesday, July 29, 2008

Dharma Wants You

Let me start this out by saying LOST IS A FUCKING TV SHOW PEOPLE. The Dharma initiative is made up by TV writers for the show LOST. The Island is a regular island. There is no magnetic shit nor does some guy named John Lock run around playing rambo. Fat guys won't get layed because they are sensitive and cripples don't get healed by some sort of magic.

Apparently there is some spam company getting their kicks by signing morons up for their website claiming they are looking for people to join the Dharma initiative.

Aside from the obvious fake factor, it says they are looking for intelligent people. Now ask yourself, would anyone aside from a backwards hick who's father is also their Brother fall for this load of shit. Fuck, maybe humanity would be better off if these idiots were stranded on some Island somewhere. They would probably end up killing themselves with sticks shoved in their eyes because they want to stop the constant noise in their heads.

Friday, July 11, 2008

Wacko Jacko Roll's into the Scene

What blog about monkey poop would not complete without a write-up on the most famous crackpot of all.... Michael Jackson.
Yes, the prince of craziness reared his bleached alien head (Albeit covered up) for a wheelchair tour of Vegas. Normally costumed up or dangled children, Prince, Paris and Blanket (Ya he's normal) in tow Michael decided pants were too much work and he stayed in his pyjamas.

Ya know, I really don't know what to say about this which has not already been said. It is simply shocking that the authorities would allow Michael to have custody of these Children. Fuck, it is so apparent that his dick was not even involved in their production (Unless he dumped them in a vat of bleach at birth...) These children were simply purchased like a commodity, how sad.

Thursday, July 3, 2008

Some bullshit about a "Man" Giving birth

OK, this is just fucked up. This is not a guy giving birth people, Fact of the matter is, this person is a WOMAN. she has a vagina but just wants to call herself a guy. So this is simply a matter of another freak having a child.
Simple biology lesson here people.

VAGINA = Woman

Any questions?

Thomas Beatie, the man who made headlines around the world when he announced he was pregnant earlier this year, has given birth in an Oregon hospital.

ABC News reported Beatie, 34, had given birth to a healthy baby girl at the St Charles Medical Center.

A source told ABC the baby was "really cute" and that Beatie was resting.

Though he was born female, Beatie underwent a sex change operation a decade ago and became legally male.

Two years ago, he and his wife Nancy - who have been together since Beatie's operation - decided to start a family.

Nancy had previously had a hysterectomy but Beatie was able to conceive as he had opted to retain his female reproductive organs at the time of his sex change operation.

He stopped taking testosterone and began the process of artificial insemination once his menstrual cycle had resumed.

An initial pregnancy almost ended in disaster when Beatie conceived ectopic triplets and had to undergo emergency surgery, but a second attempt was more successful and in March he announced the news in the gay, lesbian and transgender magazine the Advocate.

Initially the announcement was met with scepticism but Beatie appeared on The Oprah Winfrey Show in April, to explain his situation.

"I see pregnancy as a process and it doesn't define who I am," he told Oprah.

"I feel it's not a male or female desire to have a child. It's a human need. I'm a person and I have the right to have a biological child."