... and we are merely monkey's

Congratulations, you just wasted 23 1/2 seconds of your lifeSo what is MonkeyGuano, you may ask... Well thank you for asking. A Monkey is a primate from which all humans originated, unless of course you believe that apple and horny Teenager story. And Guano, well that is Poop, particularly the poop of Birds and Bats, but I stole it for monkey's. After all, if Paris Hilton can make an album, Monkey's can sure as hell squirt a little Guano out of their ass.Oh, I guess that really didn't answer your question... OK 42.Cheers,

Monday, August 24, 2009

Beyond Hope... British Columbia

Actually, this story comes from right in Hope British Columbia. I guess I find the over curious just a slight bit beyond hope.

Regardless, unless you are living under a rock or don't listen to the news, you have probably heard the story about Ryan Jenkins and Jasmine Fiore. If not, here is the 30 second recap. a week ago Friday, Ryan Jenkins reports his wife (or ex wife) missing. The next day, police find Jasmine Fiore's mutilate body in a suitcase which had been tossed into a dumpster... or trash receptical as the police report said.

After that, the geeknet went nuts with people searching for everything from Naked Pictures of Jasmine Fiore, Jasmine Fiore's Playboy pictures, and of course the obligatory and quite fvcking morbid Jasmine Fiore death pictures. Come on people, has the world become so immune to suffering that everyone wants to see pictures of a mutilated dead person? I blame video games and Clive Barker.

Immediately after Jasmine Fiore's body was found, police went searching for Ryan Jenkins. In true Phil Spectre style, Ryan Jenkins was nowhere to be found. For a week police tried to hunt him down. Even "Dog the Bounty Hunter" offered to join in the search (All for the publicity of course.)

Now onto Hope. Hope British Columbia is a small piss ant town just east of Vancouver, British Columbia, Yes, the host city for the fricking 2010 Olympic Winter Games. With a population of about... ah who gives a crap it is small and most of the population consists of drunkin' Indians anyways. So of course, that makes it the perfect place for some reality TV show dork to hide. So that is what Ryan Jenkins did for about a week. He hid in Hope British Columbia.

Well, apparently something happened and Ryan Jenkins no longer has to hide. He either committed suicide or it was made to look like he hung himself. Whatever the case, Ryan Jenkins was found hanging by his neck in the Thunderbird Motel in Hope British Columbia. Perhaps they can now name it the Ryan Jenkins room and all those sick fvcks looking for pictures of Ryan Jenkins hanging dead from a noose can rent it out to wack off to Jasmine Fiore pictures in. Seriously people, what the fvck is wrong with you? Did you fall on your head as a child?

My prediction is, next everyone will be hunting for the Ryan Jenkins Suicide note... if he could spell, he was a reality TV star after all.

Related Links

Vancouver 2010 Blog
The Hunt for Jasmine Fiore's Killer
Ryan Jenkins found dead in Hope BC Motel Room