All the World's Indeed a Cage

MILEY CYRUS TATTOO PICTURES

2009-12-04T15:09:00.000-08:00

Oh for christ sakes, it seems the Internet has gone all batty with people looking for pictures of Myley Cyrus's new tattoo... or in this case, her first tattoo. Really people, what is the big deal, so Myley Cyrus has the words, "Just Breathe" tattoed under her left breast and the world goes nuts. Com on Myley, could you not have come up with a better thing to put for your first tattoo? I dunno, maybe "Me Ma made a skank" or "slut tag".
All the same, here is a picture of Miley Cyrus's new Tattoo.

File under

STUPID - miley cyrus tattoo pictures miley cyrus tattoo, miley cyrus, miley cyrus first tattoo, miley cyrus tattoo on her stomach, mylie cyrus tattoo

Grady Sizemore Leaked Email Pictures to Girlfriend

2009-12-01T08:42:00.000-08:00

What can I say about Grady Sizemore, first of all, I regret having to look for his recent mirror front photo shoot. Secondly, I am glad he had the forethought to bring a coffee cup with him.... some things would just require far too much therapy.

Anyways, there seems to be an increased search... well a search at all is amazing enough, for pictures of Grady Sizemore. Particularly the pictures Grady Sizemore took of himself in front of a mirror pretty much naked. Honestly, thinking up creative ways to insert the important keywords regarding the leaked / stolen Grady Sizemore naked photo's which he sent to his ex girlfriend and Playboy model Brittany Binger is making me nauseous.

On that note, let's switch topics to naked pictures of Brittany Binger. At least Brittany Binger had the forethought to dump Grady Sizemore... perhaps the mirror pictures were the last straw. Either way, the knob gobbling community is bouncing for joy whilst throwing their tiara's in the air, so here ya go spank away... or whatever you do, to the semi naked pictures of Grady Sizemore... The things I do for Internet Traffic.

If you are like me and need to get these semi nude Grady Sizemore pictures out of your mind, Click here for naked pictures of Brittany Binger... if you are so inclined.

BALLOON BOY - Almost a Darwin Award

2009-10-15T19:19:00.000-07:00

The world seems fascinated by this whole Balloon Boy thing. Personally, I think the parents of Balloon boy should be up for a Darwin Award or at least honorable mention.

As the story goes, six year old Falcon Heene (Balloon Boy) of Larimer County Colorado was playing around in his fathers oversized home made balloon. Balloon Boy's father, Richard Heene, used the balloon to track the weather.

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Balloon Boy's father said he got angry with Falcon Heene (Balloon Boy) for climbing into a compartment in the tethered balloon on Thursday before the balloon was accidentally released. However, Falcon Heene (Balloon Boy) had left the balloon and hid in the attic of their garage because he was scared of his father. 'He yelled at me' said Balloon Boy in an interview after the Balloon landed in a field full of rescue workers without Balloon Boy in it.

The silver balloon, made by the Balloon Boy's father, reportedly reached heights of 7,000ft and floated about 40 miles north of Denver before it came down in a field full of rescuers, sans Balloon Boy.

When the Balloon landed, the basket was not attached to the balloon. Understandably, flights at Denver international airport were disrupted by the Balloon Boy incident.

No strangers to seeking out the limelight, The Heene family had apparently previously appeared on the ABC reality show Wife Swap. ABC described them as a "storm-chasing, science-obsessed family".

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As a result of this Balloon Boy incident a massive search and rescue operation was undertaked when it was thought Balloon Boy had been carried away by a helium balloon. After a 2 hour highly televised rescue operation, Falcon Heene (Balloon Boy) was discovered hiding in a box in his family's attic, after the balloon deflated and landed in a dirt field after a two-hour flight. Larimer county sheriff Jim Alderden told reporters that apparently Falcon Heene had "been there the whole time". "What he said was that he saw his brother climb into that apparatus and he was very adamant, they interviewed him multiple times and that was his consistent story," Mr Alderden said "I can't tell you how many times this has happened over the course of my career," he added.

The drama was played out on TV, with US networks devoting their airtime to live footage of the balloon over Colorado. After being found in the attic Balloon Boy said "I was in the attic and he scared me because he yelled at me, that's why I went in the attic."

PARIS HILTON Down in History

2009-09-13T08:07:00.000-07:00

I had to do a double take when I read this headline

Hilton's wisdom put in book of quotations

For a minute I thought the dumb shit actually managed to write a book of "Wisdom according to Paris." Being the whore she is, I'm sure it isn't far away.

Regardless, the article was about how quote by Bibmo Heiress Paris Hilton and Clueless Sarah Palin have made it into the

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"Oxford Book of Quotations." Paris' contribution leaves generations with the knowledge that having money does not equal having a brain with her now famous line "Dress cute wherever you go, life is too short to blend in." .

When she heard about being included in the Oxford book of Quotations, Paris Hilton said on her Twitter Page "So cool that I have a quote in the dictionary." Ya, ok Paris.

As for Sarah Palin, the US Voters will once again be reminded of the close call they had in the 2008 2009 US General Election, when the woman who said "What's the difference between a hockey mom and a pitbull? Lipstick." wasnot voted in as Vice President of the United States.

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Since Paris Hilton made it, how about adding me

"All the World's Indeed a Cage and we are merely monkey's"

It kind of explains the Media fascination with Paris Hilton, doesn't it...

Beyond Hope... British Columbia

2009-08-24T07:02:00.000-07:00

Actually, this story comes from right in Hope British Columbia. I guess I find the over curious just a slight bit beyond hope.

Regardless, unless you are living under a rock or don't listen to the news, you have probably heard the story about Ryan Jenkins and Jasmine Fiore. If not, here is the 30 second recap. a week ago Friday, Ryan Jenkins reports his wife (or ex wife) missing. The next day, police find Jasmine Fiore's mutilate body in a suitcase which had been tossed into a dumpster... or trash receptical as the police report said.

After that, the geeknet went nuts with people searching for everything from Naked Pictures of Jasmine Fiore, Jasmine Fiore's Playboy pictures, and of course the obligatory and quite fvcking morbid Jasmine Fiore death pictures. Come on people, has the world become so immune to suffering that everyone wants to see pictures of a mutilated dead person? I blame video games and Clive Barker.

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Immediately after Jasmine Fiore's body was found, police went searching for Ryan Jenkins. In true Phil Spectre style, Ryan Jenkins was nowhere to be found. For a week police tried to hunt him down. Even "Dog the Bounty Hunter" offered to join in the search (All for the publicity of course.)

Now onto Hope. Hope British Columbia is a small piss ant town just east of Vancouver, British Columbia, Yes, the host city for the fricking 2010 Olympic Winter Games. With a population of about... ah who gives a crap it is small and most of the population consists of drunkin' Indians anyways. So of course, that makes it the perfect place for some reality TV show dork to hide. So that is what Ryan Jenkins did for about a week. He hid in Hope British Columbia.

Well, apparently something happened and Ryan Jenkins no longer has to hide. He either committed suicide or it was made to look like he hung himself. Whatever the case, Ryan Jenkins was found hanging by his neck in the Thunderbird Motel in Hope British Columbia. Perhaps they can now name it the Ryan Jenkins room and all those sick fvcks looking for pictures of Ryan Jenkins hanging dead from a noose can rent it out to wack off to Jasmine Fiore pictures in. Seriously people, what the fvck is wrong with you? Did you fall on your head as a child?

My prediction is, next everyone will be hunting for the Ryan Jenkins Suicide note... if he could spell, he was a reality TV star after all.

Geriatric Rock, Steven Tyler, George Sodini Blog Link and more

2009-08-06T07:14:00.000-07:00

I haven't really posted in this blog lately, but the news items of the last few days really make me shake my head.

First the world is all up in arms because Paula Abdul rejected some 8 figure salary and left American Idol. Of course, newcomer hottie Kara DioGuardi is back for another swing at the American Idol Judges booth. There are those who feel Kara DioGuardi was brought in to replace aging has been pop star Paula Abdul. At the end of the day, who gives a crap. More Here

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Next is a sad story about a shooting at an LA Fitness in Bridgeville PA. A few things caught my attention on this one. First of all, some blogger in India was fast on the ball, posting the news item within an hour of the first body falling from the bullet of psycho looser George Sodini. It wasn't the speed as much as the lack of observation. Yes, the massacre occured at an LA Fitness, but this does not mean it happened in California. Easy mistake I guess. It just goes to show us bloggers need to be more careful on the news we gather and post. More here

On the topic of George Sodini and the innocent lives he took. Shortly after the LA Fitness shooting, authorities found a link to George Sodini's online blog on his website. You see, this psycho nutbag had been planning the shooting for quite sometime. He even attempted his "plan" back on January 6th, 2009. Oddly enough, at the exact same time. 8:15 PM. The really sad part is, there are people looking for the link to George Sodini's Blog. Personally, I read his drivel, and at the end of all his complaining and finger pointing, George Sodini requested readers post his blog in its' entirety so his words would "live on forever." I don't know about you, but this is where it comes down to Blogger Social Responsibility, I refuse to give this psycho killer his last request. After all, his victims did not have a chance to let their thoughts be known. They are dead now and it is all George Sodini's fault. More Here

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Moving on and on a lighter note wannabe sugarbaby/trophy wife, Megan Hauserman is taking another stab at the Reality TV market with her own show entitled "Megan Wants A Millionaire." According to an interview, "he doesn't have to be rich." Ya, ok this just sounds like another Chicken of the sea incident. Hot but dumb as a bucket of rocks. Read more

Somehow Megan Hauserman is a perfect seguay into the next topic, with every you sexy gold digging harlet, is the aging rockstar. So this brings us to Aerosmith frontman, Steven Tyler. So what did he do this time? During an Aerosmith performance at the Sturgis Motorcycle Rally in western South Dakota early Thursday morning, the Geriatric Rocker fell off the stage. You know, I couldn't make this shit up.

Apparently the power went out or there was some sort of issue with the sound system so what does the old man do? Well, in true old man trying to act young style, Steven Tyler decided to "Dance" around the stage. We all know white men can't dance, particularly this honkey. Anyways, the inevitable happened when Steven Tyler was up on a catwalk he slipped and fell backwards. Security quickly rushed in to help the aging rocker who was quickly taken backstage. Shortly after that, Aerosmith guitarist Joe Perry came out and announced Steven Tyler was taken to the hospital and they would not be able to continue with the show. According to Hospital Reports, Steven Tyler suffered minor head and neck injuries and a shoulder injury.

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On the topic of music, or at least people who think they are musicians, how can anyone miss the recent release of Naked Vanessa Hudgens pictures. Yes, the Disney star did it again. Even after her claim to have learned from her previous naked picture release, Vanessa Hudgens let the world see her pooter yet one more time. One has to wonder if this is simply another publicity stunt designed to get as much attention as possible. If so, it worked. Read more on the Naked Vanessa Hudgens photo Scandal here

Speaking of naked chicks, a few months after the firestorm of search activity around Demi Moore's Bush, the internet searchers want more. For a couple of days, there was a fury of activity around a reported photo of Demi Moore ironing naked which was posted on Twitter by her husband, Ashton Kutcher. Way to go Kutch, quit bragging already. More Here

Of course, who could miss the massive amount of activity around poor ESPN Sportscaser Erin Andrews, who had a naked peeping tom video of herself plastered all over the internet. The attention around Erin Andrews got so fierce, she even had to call 911 on the Paparazzi. The funny part of this all is, the 911 operator did not even know who Erin Andrews was. Perhaps she was in a Call Centre in India. At the end of the call, Erin Andrews lamented "I'm being treated like fvcking Britney Spears" Read more here

And now... as if the Internet was not already burning up, Hurricane Felicia is gathering strength and heading towards Hawaii. So what does this mean people??? Well, within a few days, the search term Hurricane Felicia and Hawaii will be hotter than the search for Pictures of Michael Jackson's Ghost hanging out with the Ghost of Elvis. If you are interested in keeping an eye on Hurricane Felicia as it heads towards Hawaii, check out the Hurricane Tracker

Jennifer McDaniel, Hulk Hogan's new Brooke Hogan Look-alike

2009-07-26T08:07:00.000-07:00

Recent news has wrestler / reality TV Monkey Hulk Hogan tag teaming up with Jennifer McDaniel in a one on one tage team in the bedroom. Hulk Hogan who recently went through a bitter much televised divorce with his ex wife was seen bouncing around the ocean with what appears to be a slight look-alike to his daughter Brooke Hogan, at least that is what some online sources are saying.

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Ex wife Linda isn't all to far away with crazy dating choices as she is dating 20-year-old Charley Hill. Perhaps she met Charley when her daughter Brooke was tutoring him back in Elementary School.

Here are some more pictures of Jennifer McDaniel

Girl killed by Laptop

2009-06-24T08:00:00.000-07:00

Let me start out by saying, this is truly a sad situation, however, it does deserve mention in this blog and perhaps a submission to the Darwin Awards.

It seems a young girl in Romania zapped herself because she plugged her laptop into the wall WHILE IN THE BATH TUB. Do I really have to say anything else about it? Here is the article:

Maria Barbu, 17, of Brasov, Romania, is said to have been plugging her laptop into wall current at the time, after "the battery died during a long session on social networking site Twitter as she took a soak."

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Additional details are lacking, and are unlikely to be forthcoming anytime soon. And it's unclear whether the laptop slipped from her hands or if she was so wet that the water dripping off of her closed the circuit and caused the shock.

Either way, any technology user should know by now that computers and bathrooms simply don't mix. (If you aren't worried about electrocution, think of the germs, won't you?) While GFCI circuits were designed to prevent tragedies such as the all-too-common hair-dryer-in-the-tub accident, they aren't perfect, and they aren't universal, especially overseas.

Perez Hilton Assault or Publicity Stunt

2009-06-22T07:41:00.000-07:00

In another desperate grasp for attention, obnoxious celebrity blog ferry Perez Hilton has started his own little twitter frenzy.

Only a few days after the Lindsay Lohan Twitter breast picture thingy, Perez Hilton decided to use his Twitter account to publicize an apparent assault. Whether or not Will.I.Am from the Black Eyed Peas really did beat the crap out of Perez Hilton or not, the world sure is looking for information on it.

Here is the apparent dialogue from Perez Hilton's Twitter

"I'm in shock. I need the police ASAP. Please come to the SoHo Metropolitan Hotel now. Please."

"I was assaulted by Will.I.Am of the Black Eyed Peas and his security guards. I am bleeding. Please I need to file a police report. No joke."

"Still waiting for the police. The bleeding has stopped. I need to document this. Please can the police come to the SoHo Met Hotel."

Aside from the obvious stupidity of "Why did he not call the police" the question of how can a person in shock know they are in shock and be lucid enough to send Twitter messages. Shit, he even capitalized the letters which needed to be capped. I can't believe I am even glorifying his stupidity by posting this

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Shawn Johnson - Feeding the Pedofiles and Pervs

2009-05-20T08:38:00.000-07:00

It is not surprising since US Olympian SHAWN JOHNSON WON DANCING WITH THE STARS LAST NIGHT that todays hot serch trends rotate around PICTURES OF SHAWN JOHNSON IN A BIKINI and SEXY PICTURES OF SHAWN JOHNSON. The thing people seem to be forgetting (or maybe not) SHAWN JOHNSON has not yet graduated from highschool.

I guess main stream media, marketing consultants, managers, TV Producers and of course SHAWN JOHNSON's parents have effectively narrowed the gap between acceptable and perversion by putting a 17 year old child on the stage with her breasts close to hanging out. It is no small wonder how SHAWN JOHNSON's dance partner Mark Ballas had a hard time keeping it in his pants a few weeks ago when he was sporting an obvious erection over his jailbait partner SHAWN JOHNSON (See MARK BALLAS ERECTION)

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Add to this the freekbag stalker who was slammed with a restraining order after he broke into the DANCING WITH THE STARS set to see SHAWN JOHNSON, all because he felt the teenaged star was "Talking to him through the TV set". Of course that situation most likely involves a lapse in medication, the fact remains, SHAWN JOHNSON is being rapidly pushed into the adult world and the search terms are proof. One has to wonder when SHAWN JOHNSON will get her silicon boobs and when she will have a Britney Spearsesque breakdown.

For those of you still interested in SEXY PICTURES OF SHAWN JOHNSON

Polar Bear Food

2009-04-13T08:38:00.000-07:00

A story out of Berlin Germany just screams "What were you thinking?"
Reports have a woman climbing over the POLAR BEAR enclosure in the Berlin Zoo on Friday and subsequently being ATTACKED BY THE CARNIVOROUS POLAR BEARS. Well, umm yah!!! Stupid fat woman, what was she thinking. I feel sorry for the poor zoo employee's who had to try and pull this fat walrus out of the Polar Bear cage while the Polar Bears continued to grab at her ample ass.

Authorities are unsure why the woman jumped into the Polar Bear cage. I have a theory... because she is stupid.

Here is a video of the BERLIN ZOO POLAR BEAR ATTACK

Related Links

The Whole story of the Polar Bear attack

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The epidomy of being useless in the kitchen - How to Cook HARD BOILED EGGS

2009-04-10T12:01:00.001-07:00

This one really made me chuckle. I guess I shouldn't be cruel towards those who did not grow up in a household where home cooked meals were a staple and learning how to cook was done through some sort of mother son osmosis. The thing is, only days before the biggest egg based holiday in the western world the Internet is a-buzz with people looking for HARD BOILED EGG RECIPE'S... Is it just me or this just a little strange. I guess this is just a sign of the fast food buy your groceries at Raunchy McBarfs era.

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Just so ya know

Hard Boiled Eggs

- Take a pot
- put sufficient water to cover the eggs in the pot (Preferably not toilet water)
- put pot with water on stove burner
- Turn the stove burner on high
- wait until water boils (That is when big bubbles form)
- slowly put eggs into the water. Careful do not drop them as they may crack
- Turn temperature down slightly to medium
- set timer for about 12 minutes for hard boiled
- when the timer makes its noise, take the pot off the stove and put in sink.

Once the eggs are cooled you can paint them. Careful not to use lead based or house hold paints. Food Colouring works or you can buy an egg painting kit at the grocery store (That is the place down the street from McDonalds)

BRITNEY SPEARS ALMOST CAUSES A RIOT AT VANCOUVER CONCERT BY WALKING OFF STAGE

2009-04-09T08:36:00.000-07:00

On the topic of Monkey's in cages, albeit a sexy monkey, pop tart BRITNEY SPEARS made headlines last night as she walked off stage at her VANCOUVER SHOW, because of smoke. Some reports have her upset about the smell of BC Bud, while others mention the above stage crew getting sick from the smell of tobacco.

Two things which kind of spring out on this one. First of all, smoking indoors in BC is illegal and secondly, BRITNEY SPEARS is a smoker herself. Unless of course she has quite since that famous picture of her sucking on a fag with her children within the second hand smoke region.

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Whatever the case, BRITNEY SPEARS narrowly missed causing a RIOT AT HER VANCOUVER CONCERT as irate fans started yelling and booing as her smoke induced protest lasted around 30 minutes as fans (the electric variety) worked feverishly to clear the air in Vancouver's GM Place of smoke so Britney could be happy.

This incident brings up an interesting point. I wonder if bands and venue's will now start to be more vigilant on the smoking indoors during a concert issue...

SECRET SOCIETIES, Conspiracy Theories, Illuminati and Freemasons

2009-04-02T06:50:00.000-07:00

As a Freemason in good standing, I always get a chuckle out of this whole "SECRET SOCIETY" world domination conspiracy theory. This morning, while going through my usual search for all things of interest, I ran across the search term "SECRET SOCIETY". I figured I should do a post on the topic if for nothing other than my own amusement.

I have a long time friend who subscribes to many of these CONSPIRACY THEORIES regarding SECRET SOCIETIES including the Illuminati, Freemasons and some wacked out thing about the WORSHIP OF AN OWL. Any time the subject comes up he is very quick to pull out a US DOLLAR BILL or quote some asinine theory. The thing is, this ability to think freely is what being a Free Born Human is all about. Crazy as it may be, he has the right to fell the way he does, just as I have the right to laugh my ass off anytime the topic comes up.

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I also like to watch the TV Series LOST, it seems the deep down fans of LOST are speculating a tie between the TV show and a SECRET SOCIETY known as the NINE UNKNOWN MEN. It is a TV show people, this is not reality. Big Brother is just as staged as the WWF. I know this is kind of off topic, in my defence, I have not had my first cup of coffee yet.

So what is the purpose of this post, you may ask... Well, honestly, I really don't know. I will not stoop to the level of defending the aspects of FREEMASONRY, nor do I really want to get into the various CONSPIRACY THEORIES out there. I guess it is just a bunch of textual masturbation.

Oh ya, one last thing. If you are still wandering around searching for the Meaning of life... It is 42, so stop wondering and start enjoying what this wonderderful life has to offer.

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April Fools Joke Spoiler

2009-04-01T09:26:00.001-07:00

OK, so the internet has gone viral with the search for DiHydrogen Monoxide. So what is DIHYDROGEN MONOXIDE, on a cellular level it is 2 Hydrogen Atoms and 1 Oxygen... hmmmm now what does that remind you of Hx2 + Ox1 hmmmmm H2O in other words water. So this whole .

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Far more dangerous than Co2 is a substance known as dihydrogen monoxide. This stuff is a real killer. Oceano Beach is loaded with it, and there are no warning signs.

And beware of the snowy plover. It's body is full of it. As a matter of fact, the fourth leading cause of death in the U.S. is due to its ingestion. It can eat away steel and in its solid form can bring cities to a standstill.

MARK BALLAS SHAWN JOHNSON BONER

2009-04-01T09:16:00.000-07:00

MARK BALLAS of DANCING WITH THE STARS and his SHAWN JOHNSON BONER

It seems DANCING WITH THE STARS star, MARK BALLAS could not hide his "excitement" last night as he stood behind SHAWN JOHNSON sporting a and obvious BONER. From the PICTURE below, it is quite apparent by the extra volume in his groin region, The much older MARK BALLAS has an ERRECTION over 17 year old dance partner SHAWN JOHNSON.

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No stranger to scary old men being sexually attracted to her, 17 year old SHAWN JOHNSON recently had a restraining order issued against another stalker who broke into the DANCING WITH THE STARS set because he felt SHAWN JOHNSON was talking to him through the TV. Producers are unsure how SHAWN JOHNSON's parents feel about the recent development in the crotch of MARK BALLAS as he demonstrates little Marks' appreciation for SHAWN JOHNSON in the form of an ERECTION.

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a close up PICTURE OF MARK BALLAS' BONER

Perhaps MARK BALLAS should consider Spankin' his monkey before the show from now on.

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DANIELLE LLOYD - Cell phones and topless photo's

2009-03-27T16:49:00.000-07:00

And to think, I thought Paris Hilton had the trademark on being a stupid twat and leaving suggestive pictures on her cellphone and then loosing it. Well, that isn't exactly what happened to DANIELLE LLOYD but it was close.

It appears the ex-playboy model who has showed her breasts to millions is claiming mental anguish or something silly like that because some monkey in a cell phone shop sold a TOPLESS PICTURE OF DANIELLE LLOYD he found on a cellphone DANIELLE LLOYD returned.

the sexy TOPLESS MODEL, DANIELLE LLOYD is asking for £50,000 in her writ. Although there is a definate claim for breach of trust, how stupid can a person be... Is Danielle really naive enough to believe any warm blooded straight male would not take advantage of finding naked pictures of someone as famous as herself??? I guess she could have been looking for a lawsuit since her career took a dumper after the Big Brother Racism contraversy.

To see some UNCENSORED TOPLESS PICTURES OF DANIELLE LLOYD

DANIELLE LLOYD TOPLESS

NAKED PICTURES OF DANIELLE LLOYD

DANIELLE LLOYD SHOWS OF HER BREASTS AND MORE

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Here is the original story:

Danielle Lloyd is suing a phone company after one of its workers allegedly downloaded explicit photos from her mobile.

The former Miss England left the phone at her local branch of Carphone Warehouse, where one of the staff viewed the images and made copies, a High Court writ states. Danielle, who appeared with Jade Goody in the controversial series of Celebrity Big Brother, is suing Carphone Warehouse and employee Deepak Jagpal.

Mr Jagpal is accused of taking copies of the pictures, including intimate surgery shots, when the model bought a new mobile.

She was told to leave her old phone so all the data could be transferred, and collect it later the same day.

HTBWMedia

The incident took place last September and the company says it apologised as soon as it was made aware of the matter.

Mr Jagpal no longer works for Carphone Warehouse.

A spokesman for the company said: "The download of customer content is entirely unacceptable and we can confirm that this content was not published. When the matter was brought to our attention we immediately conducted an investigation and the employee is no longer working within the business. Their actions are not indicative of our usual standard of service and we absolutely apologise to Ms Lloyd."

Danielle's writ makes a claim of up to £50,000 for breach of contract and invasion of privacy.

NUTCASE CALLS 911 OVER MCDONALDS CHICKEN MCNUGGETS

2009-03-04T08:22:00.000-08:00

Ya ok, so I put a picture of a black woman on a page that talks about monkeys. Before everyone starts jumping up and down screaming, WE ARE ALL MONKEYS'

Everyone seems to want to LISTEN TO LATREASA LESHAE GOODMAN and her MCDONALDS 911 CALL about McDonalds being out of Chicken McNuggets. Goodman says in her defense she was called to report a theft, not just that they were out of her desired meal.“Satisfying each and every customer that visits our restaurants is very important to us. Regarding this isolated incident, we apologize for the inconvenience caused. In the event that we are unable to fill an order, a customer should be offered the choice of a full refund or alternative menu items. We regret that in this instance, that wasn’t the case. We want to correct our mistake. We will be sending the customer her refund, along with an Arch card for a complimentary meal on us. We never want to disappoint a McNuggets fan or any McDonald’s customer. Customer satisfaction is our top priority.

Carlos Solorzano
McDonald’s Operations Manager Florida Region

Latreasa Leshae Goodman said she went to McDonalds for Chicken McNuggets, paid, and then was told they were out, couldn’t reportedly have a refund, but could have a McDouble.

That’s when she called 911 three times. Above is one tape local police are releasing to send a message to citizens of what 911 is, and isn’t, to be used for.

Goodman to 911:

“This is an emergency, if I would have known they didn’t have McNuggets, I wouldn’t have given my money, and now she wants to give me a McDouble, but I don’t want one, this is an emergency!”

World Financial Crisis 101

2009-02-23T05:37:00.000-08:00

A German publication recently published a tongue-in-cheek article on the current world financial crisis aka "The R-Word". This article points out how people were spending outside of their needs and how banks, credit card companies and other lenders were feeding the fire.

Even stranger, governments are now suggesting we "buy our way out of the recession"... hmm interesting thought, since everyone is mortgaged up to their assholes with no real way of paying off their debts unless they turn to prostitution or selling drugs and the government is suggesting they spend more.... More what, that plastic "money" that doesn't really exist???

You can read more about the moronic "Buy your way out of the recession" scheme politicians are suggesting here

This article has been translated into English.

World Financial Crisis 101

In a place called' Global Village' is a pub managed by an owner named Sam, who thinks he is very smart indeed. To increase consumption in his establishment he announces that he will run a tab for his local drinkers, who are predominantly unemployed alcoholics. This practice receives, of course, wide publicity and so ever more customers flock to this bar. At the beginning, the customers feel confident that they do not have to worry about looking after their tab and so Sam increases the price of wine and beer (the most heavily consumed beverages). , thereby increasing the turnover dramatically.

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The young and dynamic customer advisor of the local bank discovers in these customer obligations a valuable future income potential and raises the line of credit for Sam. He is not concerned too much since he has the tab of the alcoholics as security.

At the bank the top managers assign these customer obligations files names such as "Drunk Fund", Alki-Fund" and "Barf Fund. These papers are then traded around the world. Nobody realized what the names mean and what guaranties cover them, but since these funds keep rising at the market they soon become a runaway product.

One day, even though the funds are still climbing, a risk manager at a bank (since then of course fired for being too negative) suggests that the tabs of the 'alkies' at the pub should be called in for payment. They are, however, unable to pay up. The pub owner, Sam, is not able to pay down his line of credit and has to declare bankruptcy.

HTBWMedia

"Alki Fund" and "Drunk Fund" lose 95%, "Barf Fund" does a bit better and stabilizes after a loss of 80%. The suppliers to the pub had allowed a longer time for payment on their statements and had as well invested into the funds. The wine supplier goes bankrupt, the beer supplier is bought up by a competitor and the bank gets bailed out by the state.

BUY YOUR WAY OUT OF THE RECESSION - A new low for Consumer Stupidity

2009-01-31T10:24:00.000-08:00

“BUY OUR WAY OUT OF THE RECESSION” This is the short sighted message from many politicians of the day. The point these buerocrats seem to be missing is consumer stupidity is one of the underlying factors in the creation of our current financial meltdown.
For the past few years, I have always said, “Consumer Stupidity is at an all time high” Too many people were borrowing beyond their means just so they could keep up with the Smiths’. From the over inflated consumer driven real estate market to the stock market frenzy consumers were buying up everything they could find because savvy market researchers knew how to pull their strings.

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Real Estate agents would say “buy buy buy” bankers were offering sub-prime mortgages and there never seemed to be an end to “Low Interest Introductory Rates” for the biggest Douche Bags of them all… The Credit Card Companies.
Of course, we cannot put all the blame on the sales people, the consumer ultimately made the final decision on whether or not to believe what they were being told. Unfortunately, the average consumer is driven by fear and necessity and the sales people used those liberally when marketing to the Consumer Monkey. And like any well trained monkey, the consumers replied in droves.

HTBWMedia

The thing which really confuses me is how the government can sit there with a straight face and say to only way out of the recession is to buy our way out. Although the financial logic is there, this only really helps if the consumer spends wisely and does not borrow beyond their means for this recession buy out scheme. Consumers are already facing bankruptcy at an alarming rate and world currency is being strained to proportions not seen since the Great Depression of the 30’s. So before you fall for this “Recession Buy Out” option, ask yourself this. “Do you I have the money to pay off this purchase?” If the answer is no, then JUST SAY NO TO CONSUMER STUPIDITY!!!

MONSTER TRUCK ACCIDENT

2009-01-26T07:55:00.001-08:00

In a cross between the Darwin Awards and the Bubba variety show, the promoter of a MONSTER TRUCK event in MADISON WI. died in a tragic accident on Saturday night.

Aside from the obvious stupidity of MONSTER TRUCKS in general, what really makes this story disturbing is how everyone seems to want to watch the MONSTER TRUCK ACCIDENT VIDEO... Maybe for some pointers on their own back yard routine.

The sad part is, earlier this month, a 6 year old boy was killed at a Tacoma Monster Truck show.

he veteran driver whose vehicle killed a promoter at a monster truck show told investigators he never saw the man walk into his path, authorities said.

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It was the nation's second fatal accident at a monster truck show in a little over a week.

George Eisenhart Jr. suffered severe internal injuries when he was hit by the huge truck Saturday at the Motor Sports Monster Truck & Thrill Show at the Dane County Coliseum, the coroner said. The show was immediately halted.

The big blue truck with oversize tires was driven by its owner, Daniel Patrick, who authorities said has been a driver on the circuit for more than 20 years.

Amateur video broadcast on television showed a man walking in front of the truck.

"Our preliminary investigation shows neither Eisenhart nor the truck driver saw each other before the collision," Coroner John Stanley said at a news conference Sunday.

Authorities said Patrick would not be charged. Sheriff Dave Mahoney said it appeared all safety precautions had been taken and called the death "a very tragic accident."

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Oddly enough, BC ATTORNEY GENERAL, WALLY OPAL, figures an outdated section of the Criminal code making POLYGAMY (Having more than 1 wife) an indictable offence under the Criminal Code of Canada. The thing is, like the same sex marriage laws, the Polygamy law is steeply based on outdated Catholic religious principles.

Since the church was so closely connected to government during the time these laws were created, they did not seem all that out of line at the time. Since then, religious and cultural diversification has created a definite division between the Church and State. In fact, several Courts have indicated the Government has no place in the bedrooms of consenting adults in a Democratic society. A prime example is the overturning of Same Sex Marriage laws in many jurisdictions.

This brings me to the question, what the Fuck is Wally thinking???? That was a rhetorical question by the way. With Courts overturning laws depriving same sex couples the right to wed, what makes Wally Opal think the Courts will not do the very same thing for POLYGAMIST MARRIAGES? In a Radio statement today, WALLY OPAL even went as far to say "Right thinking Citizens will not allow this practice to continue." Is this the same "Right Thinking" group of citizens that previously shunned same sex marriages?

Personally, I feel going after a criminal conviction based on outdated Church based laws is a colossal waste of time. Aside from the Freedom of Religion defense, the BOUNTIFUL POLYGAMISTS have the Gay marriage precedence on their side. I understand the Government wants and needs a conviction against these douche bags, but their current direction will do nothing but bring strength to the whole POLYGAMIST COMMUNITY OF BOUNTIFUL once the POLYGAMIST LAW is overturned and deemed unconstitutional.

RELATED LINKS

- BOUNTIFUL POLYGAMISTS BEING CHARGED
- BOUNTIFUL POLYGAMISTS POLICE RAID
- TEXAS COURT OF APPEAL RULES AGAINST AUTHORITIES IN POLYGAMIST RAID
- EVIDENCE OF INCEST FOUND IN TEXAS POLYGAMIST CHILDREN
- AUTHORITIES RAID TEXAS POLYGAMIST RANCH

Kathy Griffin and the D-Word - The Growing list of Banned Words

2009-01-02T10:13:00.000-08:00

I remember as a kid there were certain words which we could not say, or were at least told not to say. In their place we used phrases such as "Mommy, Jimmy said the F-Word." There were several of these words, Fuck was the F Word, Shit is the S word, Cunt is the C word, of in some cases the K-word.

Later in our lives, political correctness came into play and we were told not to say Nigger... unless of course you were black you could say it as a term of endearment or some sort of community building word. To the rest of us, it was to be known as the "N-word" and never to be uttered or suffer the label of a Racist Crackerjack.

As if all these rules were not enough, those lovely people over at CNN and joe broomstick up the ass have all of a sudden created this "D-Word" which, for those not following along, is in reference to DICK, as in Penis, Cock or for those less literate the Male sexual organ.

You see, in the KATHY GRIFFIN ANDERSON COOPER NEW YEARS EVE CNN SPECIAL with ANDERSON COOPER, KATHY GRIFFIN got all pissed off about being heckled and said" SHUT UP, You don't see me coming to your workplace and knocking the DICK OUT OF YOUR MOUTH" Or something to that extent. So KATHY GRIFFIN SAID DICK, or to some of you KATHY GRIFFIN SAID the D WORD. GET OVER IT

For those who missed it, you can watch the events unfold at KATHY GRIFFIN's BLOG http://suckitjesus.blogspot.com/

BURGER KING BODY SPRAY - BURGER KING Steps into the Viral marketing ring

2008-12-18T20:23:00.000-08:00

VIRAL MARKETING - The New IT Form of public awareness

It seems to have started with a department store and their VIRAL "DOGHOUSE" commercial disguised as an Internet joke then it moved to BERLITZ and their spoof on the GERMAN COASTGUARD which played on the German "TH" accent impediment.

Not to be outdone, BURGER KING has gone all RED GREEN on us. It seems they are talking about marketing a Beef scented body spray. As you can see in the picture above, their website features a picture of a NAKED BURGER KING covered only by... what else, a dead animal skin.

BURGER KING is calling their new COLOGNE, FLAME and apparently it smells just like their burger. I guess if the

BURGER KING BODY SPRAY

doesn't get the wearer devoured by a pack of hungry dogs, it will at least remind people of the smell of salt, cow blood and fat grilling over an open FLAME, perhaps reminding them of McDonalds, Wendy's or even BURGER KING.

Don't get me wrong, I am definitely a fan of cooking dead cow, add a little Ground Bison and ground pig and you have a thing of beauty. Far better than any WHOPPER.

Here is the write up from the BURGER KING WEBSITE talking about the new BURGER KING BODY SPRAY - FLAME.

I am not exactly sure who would be attracted to the scent other then hungry carnivores, but there’s a new cologne on the market just in time for the holidays. Burger King is releasing a men’s body spray/cologne called “Flame,” which they are describing as “the scent of seduction with a hint of flame-broiled meat.”

We don’t make this stuff up, honest. We’re not sure which is worse, wearing a cologne called “Flame” or smelling like a hamburger. Perhaps they should name the cologne ‘Meat’?

Anyway it’s not going to cost you an arm and a leg to smell flame broiled. The ‘Home of the Whopper’ began selling the body spray for $4 a bottle over the weekend on their Web site and at Rickey’s, a New York City retailer.

VIRAL ADVERTISING is becoming the new thing, combine this with an effective SEARCH ENGINE OPTIMIZATION(SEO) PROGRAM. If you are interested in creating your own VIRAL MARKETING SEO CAMPAIGN check out HTBWMedia

Sondra Fortunato the Attention Whore

2008-12-16T10:33:00.000-08:00

Someone, please get this woman a clue.
Sondra Fortunato is the self proclaimed Miss Football. Sondra also claims to ba a Miss Liberty model as well as a few other things. I don't mean to sound like I am getting down on a person for her desire to reach for success, however, false hope and 15 minutes at the cost of dignity is another story.

It seems Sondra's most recent stunt has her up in Googles rankings as fishnet Santa. The story goes, Sondra Fortunato was attending a "Giants of New York" football game when she was ejected for her attire, or lack thereof. I know Pamela Anderson was originally discovered at a BC Lions Football game and I'm sure this is what Sondra Fortunato is reaching for, but come on Woman, GET A CLUE. Does the world need yet another lipstick princess wannabe.

Here is the recent story of Sondra Fortunato

Apparently the NFL doesn't want any more wardrobe scandals. Last Sunday the New York Giants brass told the team's unofficial cleavage queen, Sondra Fortunato, to cover it up or go home.

Sondra told the Post that she was escorted to the security office and told she should change her fashion statement:

They said, 'Can't you come to the stadium dressed like a regular person?' They said there were a lot of kids there."
She insists there was nothing naughty about her outfit.

"Nothing was showing. You couldn't even see my underwear. I don't flash!"
The Giants claim the problem was not her clothes but the suitcase she carries and the big signs she brings into the stadium. But as the Post points out, no one stopped her or confiscated her bag and signs on the way into the game.

In any case, Sondra covered herself with a sweater. But she still doesn't see why she can't display her assets.She said:

I love the Giants! I'm a flamboyant dresser and I'm well-endowed.

Look, I'm a middle-aged woman. ... But Madonna goes out and she's got everything hanging out, and she's middle-aged!"
There you have it, folks. You knew someone was going to say it out loud sooner or later.

Sondra, get a clue, Madonna uses her boobs as props in her singing and dancing. Since you have no talent, what are your boobs a prop for?

If you are interested in the loud and obnoxious, feel free to check out these PICTURES OF SONDRA FORTUNATO the Self proclaimed Miss Football

Gap Casting Call - All the world is a cage

2008-12-07T08:13:00.000-08:00

So today's hot search seems to be the Gap casting call. From doing a little research it seems Baby Gap is on the hunt for America's Cutest kids. Gap will select 20 finalists from the millions of pushy parents who submitted pictures of their child in hopes of fame and fortune (Probably a little bragging rights in there too.)

The thing is, do these parent look at the news? Do they see what is happening to other child "stars" like Britney Breakdown Spears, Miley Cyrus, The Olsen Twins and Gary Coleman (Who still looks the same as he did when he was on TV), to name just a few. Hollywood is an evil place and childhood fame is a seed to future dysfunction.

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So parents, as you sit there voting for your child over and over again on the Gap Casting call website, take some time to enjoy your child as their innocence will soon be replaced with entitlement issues and drug addiction.

Either way, the GAP CASTING CALL is now over and the Gap casting call vote for the cutest babies in America will start on Monday December 8th.

Meet an Inmate???

2008-11-29T11:36:00.000-08:00

OK, this is fucking nuts. I guess there are some loosers out there wh ofeel their life needs a little more to be complete, so what do they do, they go out searching for an inmate to meet, fuck with or be penpals with.

I really don't know what to say about this, I guess some people have this bad boy or bad girl complex where they need to be involved with someone fucked up beyond belief. This trend became fairly evident to me when search trends for another blog posting of mine regarding Scott Peterson and other death row inmates skyrocketed over the term "death row penpal." It seems there are a number of people, the world over, looking for the companionship of someone who has very little if any respect for human life.

Hottie blogger, Kristi Gustafson, also recently wrote something on the topic of a meet an inmate website making the bottom 10 of useless sites. Although I agree with the stupidity of a site dedicated to finding "friends" for the scum of society, it seems it is at least keeping the inmates busy posting bio's. This is what happens when you give prisoners "rights"

Tina Sherman Nude McDonalds Cellphone pictures

2008-11-23T10:04:00.001-08:00

Has the world gone Nucking futs? So yesterday this story goes viral on the internet. Apparently this guy named Philip Sherman, leaves his cellphone in a McDonalds. Ok, ordinary enough there except it was pretty stupid, he should probably get a belt holder for his phone. To make this story even more interesting, in true American style, Philip Sherman and his wife Tina Sherman are now suing McDonalds. Because he left his phone on the table you say? Nope, because Philip Sherman had some NUDE PICTURES OF HIS WIFE TINA SHERMAN ON HIS CELLPHONE. Not only did Philip Sherman have these nude photo's of his wife Tina Sherman on his cellphone, in true American Style, they got leaked onto the internet.

So according to court documents the couple suffered over these pictures of Tina Sherman being leaked onto the internet. So of course, since a McDonalds table was the last known location of Philip Sherman's cellphone McDonalds must pay for the forgetfulness of Philip Sherman. Maybe there was something in the burgers which made Philip Sherman forget his cellphone loaded with nude pictures of his wife on a table at McDonalds.

Personally, I think they should just get on with life, take this 15 minutes and work with it. Hey, maybe Tina Sherman can star next to Lisa Ann in Nailin Paylin Part Deux - Everything sounds better in french.

For more on this story

Nude Tina Sherman Photo's Exposed on internet
I'm Loving it - Nude Tina Sherman cellphone pictures spread on the internet

Dumb ass teen wacks himself on webcam

2008-11-21T22:43:00.000-08:00

Now this is fucking stupid

A South Florida teen died of a lethal drug overdose in front of a live online webcam audience 12 hours after he started blogging about his plan to commit suicide, an investigator said Friday.

Abraham Biggs, 19, died Wednesday from a toxic combination of opiates and benzodiazepine, a drug used to treat insomnia and depression, said Wendy Crane, an investigator with the Broward County medical examiner's office. At least one of the drugs was prescribed to him and it's unclear how he got the others, Crane said.

Some of those watching encouraged Biggs, others tried to talk him out of it, and a few were debating whether the dose he took was lethal, Crane said. It's unclear how many people were watching.

Biggs stated his intentions on a forum at bodybuilding.com, where some users said they did not take him seriously because he had made previous statements about killing himself, Crane said. Biggs posted a link from there to Justin.tv, a site that allows users to broadcast live videos from their webcams.

Someone finally notified the moderator of the body building site's forum, who traced the teen's location to Pembroke Pines and called police, Crane said. Biggs was dead by the time they got to his house around 3:30 p.m. Wednesday, Crane said. He had started blogging at 3 a.m.

"He was just seen laying on the bed at that point," she said.

Condolences poured into his MySpace page, where the mostly unsmiling teen is seen posing in a series of pictures with various young women.

A woman who answered the phone at Biggs' home and identified herself as his sister said the family was still dealing with his death and declined immediate comment.

Biggs' father, Abraham Biggs Sr., told ABCNews.com that he was not home when his son died. He said his son struggled with depression and had been prescribed benzodiazepine to treat bipolar disorder. Biggs had been "doing better," his father said. "He was a good kid."

The elder Biggs said he was upset that Justin.tv streamed his son's suicide live.

"There seems to be a lack of control as to what people put out on the Internet," the elder Biggs said. "There's a lot of garbage out there that should not be, and unfortunately this was allowed to happen."

In a statement, Justin.tv CEO Michael Seibel said: "We regret that this has occurred and want to respect the privacy of the broadcaster and his family during this time."

Messages left with the body building Web site were not immediately returned Friday. A spokesman said Pembroke Pines police are investigating but declined further comment.

Crane said she knows of at least one other case in which a South Florida man shot himself in the head in front of an online audience, although she didn't know how much viewers saw.

In Britain last year, a man hung himself while chatting online.

Stalkers and Freaks

2008-11-19T16:29:00.000-08:00

I've never understood this whole celebrity fascination thing.
Today, I took a look through Google Hot Trends and noticed Brad Armpit is back in the limelight. I guess he appeared on the Oprah Windbag show and there was an opportunity for fans (read as stalkers) to talk to Bradley via webcam. Ya, can you see where this is going.

Brad, what the fuck is that bug on
your face, you look like Hitler

So anyways, this bowser twit pops on and starts swooning over Brad and how great he is and how much of a fan (Stalker) she is. This girl further went on to start asking detailed questions about Brad's Tattoo's and what their significance is. At this point Brad refused to answer looked noticably embarassed, or angry and tried to move on. Apparently this girl had no concept of body language and she kept on. If I was Brad, I would be boosting my level of security and getting a restraining order, this chick is obviously nuts (being a fan of Brad Pitt aside)

Oh ya, so if anyone knows this nutbag, you might want to get her layed. She really needs to get a life.

"Big Suprise" Another bank in financial problems - Remember the 80's

2008-11-17T08:47:00.000-08:00

OK, does this headline really surprise anyone?

Citibank Massive employee Lay-off

For a couple of years now, I have been telling people the Real Estate market was ready for a crash. Living in Vancouver Canada, I was met with dumb-ass comments like "oooh not until after the Olympics" as if 2 weeks of people skating, skiing and sliding down an icy track with their genitals closely entwined with another member of the same sex is really going to effect the real estate market in a substantial and real way. Did you read that part about the 2 weeks!!!

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All that aside, the banks and credit card companies have been taking full advantage of the increased level of consumer stupidity. The Subprime interest rate marketing scheme was simply the start, longer amortization periods and reduced qualifications for Morgtages added to the massive debt load. Credit card companies followed suit by increasing the number of "introductory rate" offers, knowing full well, most consumers have little control over their spending habits when it comes to plastic.

Yes, I feel bad for the employee's who are now being layed off. Unfortunately, many of them had very little to do with the brain dead decisions made by the top level execs. Those effected can take some comfort in knowing, if the past is any indication, top level executive positions will soon be subject to the axe as the economy takes a further tumble into oblivion.

All that said, things will eventually get better once the shit filters through the pipes. It might take a few years as well as some interest rate increases, but the banks will eventually recover and the economy will be ready for a brand new batch of brain dead consumers and blood sucking bank executives.

Woman Gives Birth to her own Grandchildren

2008-11-11T18:28:00.000-08:00

I would think a story like this would originate from the deep south, but Ohio??? Read on

An Ohio woman who gave birth to her own triplet grandchildren says she is feeling fine one month later. Fifty-six-year-old Jaci Dalenberg of Wooster had to be closely monitored because of her age. Dalenberg said Tuesday on ABC's "Good Morning America" that she was happy to serve as a surrogate to help her daughter.

The girls were delivered by caesarean section on Oct. 11. They were more than two months premature and each weighed less than three pounds. Daughter Kim Coseno says the babies are doing well. The Cleveland Clinic says Dalenberg offered herself as a surrogate when Kim Coseno and her husband, Joe, were waiting to adopt.

Is the World Ready for Obama? On the Prowl for racist Obama Jokes

2008-11-06T07:23:00.000-08:00

Let me start off by saying I am not racist. I have no problem with anyone being anything they want regardless of colour. In fact, colour should never be an issue when it comes to jobs, relationships and politics. The thing is, the whole Obama election relied heavily on Obama being "Black". When Obama won, all the media could say was "Americans Elect the first Black President."

I understand skin tone is fairly evident but how is that any different from saying "Americans elect first Blonde President" or "Americans elect first President without a Texas accent." Come on people, who gives a fvck.

I tried to find some Racist Obama jokes for this post as everyone seems to be looking for them but at the end of the day we are all follicly challenged Monkey's.

Politics takes a new twist

2008-10-28T10:06:00.000-07:00

And you thought the Hustler Video Nailin Paylin was the furthest anyone could go.... well you were wrong. Some resident of LA decided to Hang Sarah Palin in efigy out side his home. Here is the story.

A Halloween decoration showing a mannequin dressed as vice presidential candidate Sarah Palin hanging by a noose from the roof of a Los Angeles house has sparked outrage among Republican supporters.

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The mannequin, which is dressed in brown wig, glasses and a red business suit, has been reported to police as a hate crime.

However, officers said the mannequin could not be considered a hate crime because it was part of a Halloween display.

Chad Michael Morisette, who lives in the house, defended the effigy, claiming it was art.

Mr Morisette admitted it would be out of bounds at any other time of year.

He said: "It should be seen as art, and as within the month of October. It's Halloween, it's time to be scary it's time to be spooky."

Sgt. Kristin Aloma of the sheriff's department said that since Sunday she had received five to 10 calls from residents offended by the display. Officials are monitoring the house to make sure the situation doesn't get out of hand, she said.

"I'm not defending this; I'm not criticising it. It doesn't rise to the level of hate crime," said Steve Whitmore, spokesman for the Los Angeles County Sheriff's Department, who said he went out to the house himself to look at the display this morning. "Now, if there was a crime against bad taste . . . "

Mr Whitmore said that potential hate crimes are evaluated on a case-by-case basis. If the same display had been made of a Barack Obama-like doll, for example, authorities would have to evaluate it independently, he said.

The home's decorations also feature a doll of John McCain surrounded by "flames" in the chimney, and other more typical Halloween items, such as skeletons and spider webs.

Oprah Licks Carpet, Stedman Likes Dick - More Gay Rumours

2008-10-19T10:42:00.000-07:00

First of all, I would like to say WHO GIVES A FUCK!!!
Now onto the news.
So once again rumours are abound about Oprah Windbag oops Winfrey and Stedman whatshisface. I guess people are wondering why there are so few pictures of Oprah and Stedman together. Instead they are replaced with pictures of Oprah and some gal pal Gayle King. Apparently this means Oprah has joined the cast of the L-Word or something.

The media loves to out dykes and fags.

Horny Goat Weed - The Ongoing Search for the Boner or an indicator of a Poor US Education System

2008-10-19T09:47:00.000-07:00

I was wondering through the Google Search this morning and once again stumbled upon HORNY GOAT WEED. This is not a new topic, in fact I wrote about it a few weeks ago when it was mentioned in a scientific study. What makes this particular search interesting is not that a wack of people were searching for HORNY GOAT WEED... in fact they weren't They were searching for "HORNEY GOAT WEED." Not to be anal, but my though is, if they cannot spell it how can they get there!!!

I guess I really shouldn't put all the blame on the Americans, they are just such an easy target. Sorry 'bout that Eh! :P

Cheers

For more information on Horny Goat Weed

HORNY GOAT WEED
HORNY GOAT WEED Herbal Viagra

Living Goddess of Nepal nothing godly about it

2008-10-07T18:22:00.000-07:00

I am all for freedom of religion and find many ancient traditions interesting, this however, is a little bit fucked up. Read the whole way through and you will see what I mean.
Thoughts anyone?

KATHMANDU, Nepal - Religious authorities in Nepal anointed a three-year-old girl as a living goddess Tuesday in a tradition dating back centuries.

Matani Shakya was wrapped in red silk and her hair was adorned with red flowers as Hindu and Buddhist priests chanted sacred hymns and showered her with flowers and grains of rice. The new "kumari" or living goddess, was carried from her parents' home to an ancient palatial temple in the heart of the Nepal's capital, Kathmandu.

She will live there until she reaches puberty and loses her divine status.

Until then, she will be worshipped by Hindus and Buddhists as an incarnation of the powerful Hindu deity Taleju.

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A panel of judges conducted a series of ancient ceremonies to select the goddess from several two-to four-year-old girls who are all members of the impoverished Shakya goldsmith caste.

The judges read the candidates' horoscopes and check each one for physical imperfections. The living goddess must have perfect hair, eyes, teeth and skin with no scars, and should not be afraid of the dark.

As a final test, the living goddess must spend a night alone in a room among the heads of ritually slaughtered goats and buffaloes without showing fear.

Having passed all the tests, the child will stay in almost complete isolation at the temple, and will be allowed to return to her family only at the onset of menstruation when a new goddess will be named to replace her.

"I feel a bit sad, but since my child has become a living goddess I feel proud," said her father, Pratap Man Shakya.

During her time as a goddess, she will always wear red, pin up her hair in topknots, and have a "third eye" painted on her forehead.

Devotees touch the girls' feet with their foreheads, the highest sign of respect among Hindus in Nepal. During religious festivals the goddesses are wheeled around on a chariot pulled by devotees.

Critics say the tradition violates both international and Nepalese laws on child rights. The girls often struggle to readjust to normal lives after they return home.

Nepalese folklore holds that men who marry a former kumari will die young, and so many girls remain unmarried and face a life of hardship.

Sarah Palin Nude Painting - What is all the fuss about?

2008-10-01T07:09:00.000-07:00

Todays' Hot search kinda explains the wierd fascination certain lonely people have with Japanese Anime. Ya ok, so I thought Betty Rubble was hot (Not the Rosie ODonnell Version) but come on, am I the only one who finds this NUDE PAINTING OF SARAH PALIN more than a little wierd. Put aside the fat this does not even look like her and more resembles a Mike Judge or Matt Groening creation that a naked senator. To make matters even wierder, the "artist", and I use that term lightly, used his DAUGHTER as a model. Apparently she does a good Sarah Palin impression.

Old Guy painting a picture of his naked Daughter..... It says this guy is from Chicago, I'm thinking Alabama

MORE NEWS:
SARAH PALIN SUBJECT OF NEW HUSTLER PORNO called "NAILIN' PALIN" See UNCENSORED PICTURES HERE

Jamie Lynn Spears Breast Feeding

2008-09-22T08:31:00.000-07:00

Those familiar with me and my blogs know I do most of my blogging while I sit on the toilet taking my morning dump. What does this have to do with Jamie Lynn Spears and this whole issue of Leaked (Stolen) breast feeding pictures??? Well nothing really.

So anyways, from how the story goes, Casey Aldridge decided to take some cell phone pictures of Jamie Lynn Spears breast feeding. Of course Casey is just like any 19 year old male so her nipple was showing. The wierd thing is, with technology the way it is today and the ability of pretty much anyone to run pictures off at home, Casey, the rocket scientist, decided to take the pictures to Walmart to be developed....

WHAT THE FUCK WAS HE THINKING!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Casey, if by some strange miracle you can actually read, did you fall off the turnip truck or something? When god was handing out brains, did you think the said trains and subsequently asked for a wind-up set?

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Jamie Lynn's Sister, Britney is the most sought after personality on the internet. Newspapers, the internet and TV shows are riddled with useless and very personal information about the Spears Family. Did you really think some minimum wage lackey at Walmart would keep a million dollar opportunity like STOLEN PICTURES OF JAMIE LYNN SPEARS BREASTFEEDING a secret?

Shit, the title of this blog alone will bring in thousands of perverts (Speaking of which... get a life people.) Why would anyone want to see pictures of a 16 year old JAMIE LYNN SPEARS NAKED?

This is shit!!! Oh ya, there is the parallel.

HURRICANE IKE and the Rescue Efforts in GALVESTON and HOUSTON TEXAS

2008-09-14T09:44:00.001-07:00

OK, coming from Texas and Louisiana, this story is bound to be filled with stupidity as a result of the gene pool alone.

So, the Gulf Coast of Texas and Louisiana was hit by HURRICANE IKE over the weekend. Yes, this is definitely a sad thing. Thousands of homes were damaged by torrential winds, ran and thundering waves. Of course, readers of this blog will know this article is defiantly not about human compassion and understanding. ALTHOUGH I DO FEEL COMPASSION FOR THE INNOCENT WHO LOST THEIR HOMES THROUGH NO FAULT OF THEIR OWN.

Now onto the meat and guts of this post.

WHAT THE FUCK WERE THESE PEOPLE THINKING!!!!!!

Apparently rescue workers in Texas are now sifting through the Rubble searching for those who refused to evacuate. Say what, people actually wanted to stay behind?? Did they think they could save their house with a bilge pump and fucking ice cream bucket????

Even me, sitting up here in Canada, the land of complacency, could see the signs. Satellite imagery showed HURRICANE IKE totally engulfing the GULF OF MEXICO just a day prior to the hit. The EYE OF THE HURRICANE was obviously heading for the Texas coast and anyone with half a brain should have known it would not:

a: Switch directions and head back to Cuba "Because the are um bad people and God hates dem dere bad peoples"

b: Totally dissipate by the time it hit land.

I read an article this morning and ran into some interesting quotes. Here they are for your amusement and wonder:

"I falled in the attic," Jack told paramedic Stanley Hempstead of his 10-foot tumble through the attic and onto the garage floor.

Grammar aside, what the fuck was he doing in the Attic... High winds people....

"We just didn't think it was going to come up like this," said the boy's father, Lee King. "I'm from New Orleans, I know better. I just didn't think it was going to happen."

Do I really need to comment on this one?

So now to the point of this blog. Honestly, the intent was not to poke fun at the less intelligent.
Texas being the home state of Dubya, Hurricane IKE Rescue efforts are going to be costly. There seems to be more money tossed into the "Rescue the Texan fund" than was spent on Katrina efforts.
What do you think about this?
First of all, the importance placed on this rescue over all others.
Secondly, should the US taxpayer have to be on the hook for rescuing those who refused to follow warnings like "Leave or you will face CERTAIN DEATH." Now how much more serious of a warning do you need?

Feel free to comment or insult me for my callus uncaring blog
I have posted a vote on the topic HERE

Ghost of Elvis

2008-08-16T09:41:00.000-07:00

ok, so today is the anniversary of Elvis' Death and he came to visit me. I'm not shitting you when I tell you this, but I have Elvis' Ghost in a jar. I had to stick it in the basement because I was really getting tired of hearing his singing.... I'm not really a fan of the fat bastard.
So.... If anyone is interested in buying Elvis in a jar, drop me a line via the HTBW Ad to the right.
I just want to get this fat ghosty bastard out of my house adn really just want to toss him in the bin, but I realise this could be worth some money to the right fan.

Get that Fucking Sword Away from me you Crazy Viking

2008-08-15T16:34:00.001-07:00

On my way home from work today I heard this strange little story about "Nils Olav", Edinburgh Zoo's famous King penguin getting knighted. Yes, the odd ceremony where some suited up King or Queen taps some unsuspecting soul with a sword just to make them feel special.

Your Ad Here

Knighting used to be a way to sucker people into fighting for their country, however, recently it has become more of a publicity stunt for Royal Families. This particular publicity stunt truly shows how stupid these Royal boneheads are... It is a fucking flightless bird you Morons!!!!! or in case you don't understand Det er en fucking flightless fugl du Morons

I'm thinking the translation service did not understand fucking or moron... Oh well.

Dharma Wants You

2008-07-29T09:37:00.000-07:00

Let me start this out by saying LOST IS A FUCKING TV SHOW PEOPLE. The Dharma initiative is made up by TV writers for the show LOST. The Island is a regular island. There is no magnetic shit nor does some guy named John Lock run around playing rambo. Fat guys won't get layed because they are sensitive and cripples don't get healed by some sort of magic.

Apparently there is some spam company getting their kicks by signing morons up for their website claiming they are looking for people to join the Dharma initiative.

Aside from the obvious fake factor, it says they are looking for intelligent people. Now ask yourself, would anyone aside from a backwards hick who's father is also their Brother fall for this load of shit. Fuck, maybe humanity would be better off if these idiots were stranded on some Island somewhere. They would probably end up killing themselves with sticks shoved in their eyes because they want to stop the constant noise in their heads.

Wacko Jacko Roll's into the Scene

2008-07-11T07:46:00.001-07:00

What blog about monkey poop would not complete without a write-up on the most famous crackpot of all.... Michael Jackson.
Yes, the prince of craziness reared his bleached alien head (Albeit covered up) for a wheelchair tour of Vegas. Normally costumed up or dangled children, Prince, Paris and Blanket (Ya he's normal) in tow Michael decided pants were too much work and he stayed in his pyjamas.

Ya know, I really don't know what to say about this which has not already been said. It is simply shocking that the authorities would allow Michael to have custody of these Children. Fuck, it is so apparent that his dick was not even involved in their production (Unless he dumped them in a vat of bleach at birth...) These children were simply purchased like a commodity, how sad.

Some bullshit about a "Man" Giving birth

2008-07-03T18:38:00.000-07:00

OK, this is just fucked up. This is not a guy giving birth people, Fact of the matter is, this person is a WOMAN. she has a vagina but just wants to call herself a guy. So this is simply a matter of another freak having a child.
Simple biology lesson here people.

PENIS = Man
VAGINA = Woman

Any questions?

Thomas Beatie, the man who made headlines around the world when he announced he was pregnant earlier this year, has given birth in an Oregon hospital.

ABC News reported Beatie, 34, had given birth to a healthy baby girl at the St Charles Medical Center.

A source told ABC the baby was "really cute" and that Beatie was resting.

Though he was born female, Beatie underwent a sex change operation a decade ago and became legally male.

Two years ago, he and his wife Nancy - who have been together since Beatie's operation - decided to start a family.

Nancy had previously had a hysterectomy but Beatie was able to conceive as he had opted to retain his female reproductive organs at the time of his sex change operation.

He stopped taking testosterone and began the process of artificial insemination once his menstrual cycle had resumed.

An initial pregnancy almost ended in disaster when Beatie conceived ectopic triplets and had to undergo emergency surgery, but a second attempt was more successful and in March he announced the news in the gay, lesbian and transgender magazine the Advocate.

Initially the announcement was met with scepticism but Beatie appeared on The Oprah Winfrey Show in April, to explain his situation.

"I see pregnancy as a process and it doesn't define who I am," he told Oprah.

"I feel it's not a male or female desire to have a child. It's a human need. I'm a person and I have the right to have a biological child."

Look mommy, it's Jeeeesus

2008-06-26T08:58:00.000-07:00

OK, this comes from the People will believe any shit that is thrown their way file. Apparently some woman in Florida saw Jesus in her ultrasound. I have included the video so ou could judge for yourself, but to me it looks like a fucking pelvic bone... Moron's!!!!

Stupid Teenaged girls in Glouchester make a pregnancy pact

2008-06-20T08:57:00.000-07:00

OK, here is a story of stupidity. Apparenty a group of 17 tean aged girls made a pact to get pregnant and raise their bastard doomed to fail in life children together. The story goes as far to say that one fo the fathers is a 24 year old homeless bum. What the fuck is the world coming to.

A pact made by a group of teens to get pregnant and raise their babies together is at least partly behind a sudden spike in pregnancies at Gloucester High School, school officials said.

Principal Joseph Sullivan told Time magazine in a story published Wednesday that the girls confessed to making the pact after the school began investigating a rise in pregnancies that has left 17 girls at the school carrying a child. Normally, there are about four pregnancies a year at the school.

Sullivan told Time that nearly half of the expecting students, none over 16, were involved. Sullivan said students were coming to the school clinic multiple times to get pregnancy tests, and "seemed more upset when they weren't pregnant than when they were."

Some of the girls reacted to the news they were pregnant with high fives and plans for baby showers, Sullivan said. One of the fathers "is a 24-year-old homeless guy," Sullivan told the magazine.

Superintendent Christopher Farmer confirmed the deal to WBZ-TV, saying the girls had "an agreement to get pregnant."

He said the girls are generally "girls who lack self-esteem and have a lack of love in their life."

Christen Callahan, a former Gloucester High School student who had a child when she was 15, said on NBC's "Today" show that some of the girls would ask her about her own pregnancy.

"They would say stuff like, oh, I think my parents would be fine with it and they would help me, stuff like that," Callahan said.

But she said she had no firsthand knowledge of a pact between the girls to get pregnant.

"They were just kind of like curious about it, they never actually came out and said it," Callahan said.

The first reports of the students' apparent plan to get pregnant were in the Gloucester Daily Times in March, when Sullivan said students were reporting that the girls were getting pregnant on purpose.

The rash of pregnancies has shaken the seaside city about 30 miles north of Boston. Last month, two officials at the high school health center resigned to protest the resistance from the local hospital to the confidential distribution of contraceptives. The hospital administers the state money that funds the clinic.

Stupid Florida Teens and their "Fire in the Hole" YouTube Prank

2008-06-10T06:57:00.000-07:00

Just another sign of the Stupidity of humanity. Here is a story about a couple of dump punk ass kids who took part, filmed and subsequently posted their childish actions on YouTube. The prank is called "Fire in the Hole." To add to the stupidity of it all, it was actually their YouTube posting which got them caught.... No, you think.... Dumb fucks

Here is the story

Two Florida teenagers who threw their soft drink at the waitress in a drive-through restaurant and posted a video of their actions on YouTube have followed it up with a grovelling apology – on the orders of a judge.

It is a case that has brought to prominence the latest youth prank to sweep America – the American equivalent of the Happy Slapping craze which swept the UK three years ago.

Known as "Fire in the Hole", after the warning shouted by soldiers and Marines as they chuck a grenade into an enemy bunker, the attacks usually feature teenaged boys, who order a bit extra as they drive up to a fast-food joint and then throw it back through the server's window.

If they remember, they shout "Fire in the Hole!" as they do so.

The Florida case happened on July 25 when Jessica Ceponis, a fast food worker at the Taco Bell in Merritt Island, east of Orlando, had a 32oz cup of soda thrown back in her face.

Unfortunately for her attackers, Ms Ceponis, 23, heard from her customers that a video of the prank had been posted on YouTube. She used the site to trace the two boys via their MySpace accounts and befriended them online.

"They were bragging about what they had done and how funny it was," Ms Ceponis said, according to report on USA Today.

After confirming that they were indeed behind the attack, Mrs Ceponis tracked down one of the boys' mothers and got the name of the other boy from her.

The 16-year-old driver who threw the drink and a 15-year-old who filmed him were charged with two counts each of battery and one count of criminal mischief.

In addition, to the apology video, the two boys were sentenced to 100 hours each of community service and ordered to pay $30 each to the restaurant in cleaning fees. To avoid them getting criminal records, the charges will be dropped when they have fulfilled the judge's orders.

The video shows the two boys preparing for a Fire in the Hole attack before deciding against it at the last minute. It also shows them handcuffed and face down on the bonnet of their car as a sign of what might have happened had they gone through with the attack.

But Ms Ceponis said she was worried that the boys would be treated as heroes because of the apology video. "They'll be laughing about it in a year or so," she said.

Strange sex laws

2008-06-01T10:48:00.000-07:00

They're surprising. They're baffling. And, often, they're downright stupid. These laws about sex and sexuality defy explanation.

In London, it's illegal to have sex on a parked motorcycle.

In Tibet, many years ago, the law required all women prostitute themselves. This was seen as a way to gain sexual experience prior to marriage.

"Female breasts," according to the Arizona Supreme Court, don't constitute "private parts" under state law.

The Asiatic Huns punished convicted male rapists and adulterers with castration. Female adulterers were merely cut in two.

The penalty for masturbation in Indonesia is decapitation.

The T'ang Dynasty Empress Wu Hu passed a special law concerning oral sex. She felt that a woman pleasuring a man represented the supremacy of the male over the female. Therefore, she insisted all visiting male dignitaries show their respect by pleasuring her orally when meeting. The empress would throw open her robe and her guest would kneel before her and kiss her genitals.

In London, it's illegal to have sex on a parked motorcycle.

There is, in fact, an Illinois law that prohibits a number of things—one of which is a public erection, another is nude dancing. The prohibition against the public erection has never been challenged in the Supreme Court, but the prohibition against nude dancing has.

In 100 A.D., the Teutons, an Germanic tribe, would punish anyone caught as a prostitute by suffocating them in excrement.

The vow of a Roman vestal virgin lasted 30 years. If she engaged in sex before then, she was punished by being buried alive.

In 17th century Spain, it was illegal for anyone other than a woman's husband to see her bare feet. A woman could freely expose her breasts, but feet were considered sexual and had to be covered in the presence of men other than her husband.

The Romans would crush a first-time rapist's gonads between two stones.

In China, women are prohibited from walking around a hotel room in the nude. A woman may be naked only while in the bathroom.

The early Christian church forbade couples from having sex on Wednesdays, Fridays and of course, Sundays.

In Pompeii, a special law was directed at prostitutes. They had to dye their hair either blue, red or yellow in order to be able to work.

In Indiana, mustaches are illegal if the bearer has a "tendency to habitually kiss other humans."

Six thousand years ago, Egyptians, the first to punish sex crimes with castration, would completely castrate a male convicted of rape. A women found guilty of adultery would find herself without a nose, the thinking being that without a nose, it would be harder to find someone to share in her adulterous ways.

Up until 1884, a woman could be sent to prison for denying a husband sex.

In Maryland, it is illegal to sell condoms from vending machines with one exception—prophylactics may be dispensed from a vending machine only "in places where alcoholic beverages are sold for consumption on the premises."

While not as extreme as the ancient Israelite punishment for adultery (stoning), Greek men still had their fair share of discomfort when their pubic hair was removed and a large radish was shoved up their rectum.

In Alabama, it's against the law for a man to seduce "a chaste woman by means of temptation, deception, arts, flattery or a promise of marriage."

In Nepal, Bangladesh and Macao it is against the law to view movies containing simulated lovemaking or the pubic area of men and women. The law also does not allow kisses to be shown in any film that includes actors from these three countries.

It's illegal to have sex with a corpse anywhere in the United States.

An 18th century French prostitute could be spared punishment if she were willing to join the opera.

There are men in Guam whose full-time job it is to travel the countryside and deflower young virgins, who pay them for the privilege of having sex for the first time. Why? Under the law in Guam, it is forbidden for virgins to marry.

In Hong Kong, a betrayed wife is legally allowed to kill her adulterous husband, but may only do so with her bare hands. The husband's lover may be killed in any manner desired.

An 18th century French prostitute could be spared punishment if she were willing to join the opera.

In Mississippi, S & M is against the law. Specifically, "The depiction or description of flagellation or torture by or upon a person who is nude or in undergarments or in a bizarre or revealing costume for the purpose of sexual gratification."

During the Middle Ages, if you were guilty of bestiality you'd be burned at the stake, along with the other party to your crime.

As recently as 1990, these states had laws against the use of dildos: Idaho, Utah, Arizona, Oklahoma, Minnesota, Louisiana, Mississippi, Alabama, Georgia, South Carolina, North Carolina, Virginia, Maryland, Massachusetts, Rhode Island and Washington D.C.

In Minnesota, it is illegal for any man to have sexual intercourse with a live fish.

In Detroit, couples are not allowed to make love in an automobile unless the act takes place while the vehicle is parked on the couple's own property.

In Oxford, Ohio, it's illegal for a woman to strip off her clothing while standing in front of a man's picture.

An excerpt from Kentucky state legislation: "No female shall appear in a bathing suit on any highway within this state unless she be escorted by at least two officers or unless she be armed with a club."

The only acceptable sexual position in Washington, D.C. is the missionary position. Any other sexual position is considered illegal.

In Michigan a woman isn't allowed to cut her own hair without her husband's permission.

It is illegal for any member of the Nevada legislature to conduct official business wearing a penis costume while the legislature is in session.

In Ventura County, California cats and dogs are not allowed to have sex without a permit.

Under Lebanese law, men are legally allowed to have sex with animals, but the animals must be female. Having sexual relations with a male animal is expressly forbidden.

A law in Fairbanks, Alaska does not allow moose to have sex on city streets.

In Kingsville, Texas there is a law against two pigs having sex on the city's airport property.

Women can sell items and be topless in Liverpool, England—but only in tropical fish stores.

In the state of Texas it is a misdemeanor if two men engage in oral and or anal sex. The same law does'nt apply to men and women engaging in the same activity with each other.

In Romboch, Virginia, it is illegal to engage in sexual activity with the lights on.

In the state of Utah, sex with an animal—unless performed for profit—is not considered sodomy and therefore is legal.

Anywhere in the U.S., it's illegal to use any live endangered species (except for insects) in public or private sexual displays, shows or exhibits depicting cross-species sex.

In the quiet town of Connorsville, Wisconsin, it's illegal for a man to shoot off a gun when his female partner has an orgasm.

It is illegal for a man and woman to have sex "on the steps of any church after the sun goes down" in Birmingham, England.

In the state of Washington there is a law against having sex with a virgin under any circumstances (including the wedding night).

A Tremonton, Utah law states that no woman is allowed to have sex with a man while riding in an ambulance. In addition to normal charges, the woman's name will be published in the local newspaper.

It's against the law in Willowdale, Oregon, for a husband to curse during sex.

Sodomy laws have been repealed—or are ignored—in most states, but not Georgia, where a man was sentenced to five years in prison for engaging in oral sex. With his wife. With her consent. In their home.

An Oklahoma state representative once proposed a bill requiring that a man explain the dangers of pregnancy and obtain a woman's written consent before the two could legally engage in sexual intercourse.

In Oblong, Illinois, it's punishable by law to make love while hunting or fishing on your wedding day.

No man is allowed to make love to his wife with the smell of garlic, onions, or sardines on his breath in Alexandria, Minnesota. If his wife so requests, law mandates that he must brush his teeth.

Warn your hubby that after lovemaking in Ames, Iowa, he isn't allowed to take more than three gulps of beer while lying in bed with you—or holding you in his arms.

Bozeman, Montana, has a law that bans all sexual activity between members of the opposite sex in the front yard of a home after sundown—if they're nude.

In hotels in Sioux Falls, South Dakota, every room is required to have twin beds. The beds must always be a minimum of two feet apart when a couple rents a room for only one night. And it's illegal to make love on the floor between the beds.

The owner of every hotel in Hastings, Nebraska, is required to provide each guest with a clean and pressed nightshirt. No couple, even if they are married, may sleep together in the nude, nor may they have sex unless they are wearing one of these clean, white cotton nightshirts.

An ordinance in Newcastle, Wyoming, specifically bans couples from having sex while standing inside a store's walk-in meat freezer.

A state law in Illinois mandates that all bachelors should be called master, not mister, when addressed by their female counterparts.

In Norfolk, Virginia, a woman can't go out without wearing a corset. (There was a civil-service job—for men only—called a corset inspector.)

In Merryville, Missouri, women are prohibited from wearing corsets because "the privilege of admiring the curvaceous, unencumbered body of a young woman should not be denied to the normal, red-blooded American male."

It's safe to make love while parked in Coeur d'Alene, Idaho. Police officers aren't allowed to walk up and knock on the window. Any suspicious officer who thinks that sex is taking place must drive up from behind, honk his horn three times and wait approximately two minutes before getting out of his car to investigate.

A law in Helena, Montana, mandates that a woman can't dance on a table in a saloon or bar unless she has on at least three pounds, two ounces of clothing.

Lovers in Liberty Comer, New Jersey, should avoid satisfying their lustful urges in a parked car. If the horn accidentally sounds while frolicking behind the wheel of a motor vehicle, the couple can face a jail term.

Women aren't allowed to wear patent-leather shoes in Cleveland, Ohio—the thinking is that a man might see the reflection of something he shouldn't.

In Texas, no one other than a "registered pharmacist" may sell condoms or other kinds of contraceptives "on the streets or other public places." No, not even physicians. Anyone who tries to make a few extra bucks doing this will be severely prosecuted for the dire act of "unlawfully practicing medicine."

Kentucky and Idaho limit condom sales to medical practitioners and licensed pharmacists, but their license to sell the items may not be hung on a wall where it can be seen by customers.

Maine licenses condom sellers and the license must always be on public display.

Nevada, with 35 legal bordellos, has no condom problem. The use of condoms in Nevada brothels is compulsory.

Both Indiana and Ohio have laws that prohibit male skating instructors from having sexual relations with their female students. This misdeed, called "the seduction of female students," is prosecuted as a felony. This statute applies only to male teachers. It seems female skating instructors may have sex with male students

MILEY CYRUS SEX TAPE - Ya sick Fucks

2008-05-15T19:07:00.000-07:00

OK, this is just nuts. I guess MILEY CYRUS was in a GOT MILK ad and some perverts are out there searching for it because they figure it is sexually loaded. I guess Elementary School just let out and all the silly tweens perverted pedofiles have decided to search for MILEY CYRUS SEX TAPE because they wanted to spank da monkey to her ugly milk covered mug.

I guess this all arose from MILEY CYRUS hanging out with Sex tape star Kim Kardashian. Go figure.

Here is something else I found on the topic which pretty much echo's how I feel The Source is http://watchtvsitcoms.blogspot.com

Miley Cyrus Sex Tape

You pervert! How dare you even consider reading about the Miley Cyrus Sex Tape?

There is no Miley Cyrus sex tape for three more years. Until then, you can see her GOT MILK ad:

http://www.eonline.com/uberblog/b136836_mileys_got_milk.html

I am not going to post it here because most people would consider it perverted. But even more scary is how many people are searching for the Miley Cyrus Sex Tape today...

I could sit here all night and make jokes about how stupid Miley Cyrus is. Like, they asked her what the capital of California is, and she said "C".

Or how she was on the plane with the Pope and there were only 2 parachutes. Miley jumps out of the plane, and the pilot and the Pope argue about who gets the last parachute. The Pope says not to worry because Miley jumped out with his briefcase. Of course, this joke doesn't make any sense because the Pope doesn't carry a briefcase - he keeps the Vaseline and condoms in his cape!

I am not going to sit here and continue to make jokes about how Miley Cyrus is an idiot, because I will just end up with a whole bunch of hate mail. So I will make tasteless jokes about her:

What has 10,000 arms, 10,000 legs, 5,000 heads, and an IQ of 8?
5,000 fans at a Miley Cyrus concert!

You know what, forget it. I can't write any jokes about her that don't involve how much of a stupid redneck she is. I mean, she went on the Jay Leno show and drank ketchup from the bottle like it was water! I don't even know what to say. Oh yes, it is bad etiquette to drink ketchup from the bottle - you can only eat it with fried squirrel!

STAR WARS DAY

2008-05-04T09:56:00.000-07:00

OK, this is just screaming for some Monkey Poop. Apparently a bunch of basement dwelling virgins have deemed May 4th Starwars day... Something to do with "May the Fourth be with you"
Come on people, it was a movie about a guy in an ape costume and a robot made out of tin cans and a few flashing Christmas tree bulbs!!! I guess I can give them 1 Monkey poop credit for the cheesy usage of Fourth instead of force and a kind of pathetic attempt to get layed... But that is it. Time to get out of your parents basement people. This is the time of your you can dress up like dorks and go out to meet others of your kind.

4 out of 5 Flying monkey turds for the wiener who thought up Star Wars Day.

Chad Kroeger (Turton) and Paris Hilton - Siamese Twins Separated at Birth

2008-05-01T21:16:00.000-07:00

Ya ok, sounds a little far fetched but think about it. Two whinny little prissy asses who think they can buy their way out of anything they do wrong. Both of them got drunk and sat behind the wheel of their car. Both were busted, both bitched moaned and complained about their punishments.

The thing is, at least Paris Hilton did spend a few days in the can, ok so she puked and played sick to try and get out. Chad Kroeger, on the other hand, was just issued a $600 fine as well as 1 year prohibition from driving. So what does little Chaddy do? He gets his Lawyer to whine and bitch about it. Apparently it is unfair for him because he has to drive into Vancouver from his Abbotsford Ranch. Oh come on, you have a fucking recording studio in a converted barn and you have more than enough money to pay someone to drive you. For that matter, have one of the other band members drive you... Maybe your Fiance can sit behind the wheel as you sit in the passenger seat. Oh but of course not, Little Chad is too good for that...

Hey Chad, I hear Paris Hilton is looking for a new best friend. It seems like you two have alot in common, why not try out.

And to think, I used to listen to Nickelback, Chad's recent actions make me embarrassed to admit to that fact.

5/5 Piles of Goopy Monkey Poop for Chad's Stupidity

Stop the Insanity...

2008-04-21T08:25:00.001-07:00

OK, so how did I start out my morning today.... Well, aside from a wonderful bowel movement, my eyes were tortured by some more skank photo's of up and coming popskankette, Miley Cyrus. Poop Billy Ray must have one helluva Achey Breaky head right about now. First, his 15 year old daughter decides to post some underwear pics on the internet for all the perv's of the world to see. Then she starts hanging out with 20 some odd year old Hollyskank (all beit sexy Hollyskank) Lindsay Lohan.

I guess, Lindsay Lohan's Naked Magazine pictures gave Miley something to think about and she came out with some even more pictures which show she is definately on her way to getting pregnant at 16 or getting her own brand new breast from Hollywood Boob Mart.

All the World's Indeed a Cage

MILEY CYRUS TATTOO PICTURES

Grady Sizemore Leaked Email Pictures to Girlfriend

BALLOON BOY - Almost a Darwin Award

PARIS HILTON Down in History

Hilton's wisdom put in book of quotations

Beyond Hope... British Columbia

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World Financial Crisis 101

BUY YOUR WAY OUT OF THE RECESSION - A new low for Consumer Stupidity

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Kathy Griffin and the D-Word - The Growing list of Banned Words

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Woman Gives Birth to her own Grandchildren

Is the World Ready for Obama? On the Prowl for racist Obama Jokes

Politics takes a new twist

Oprah Licks Carpet, Stedman Likes Dick - More Gay Rumours

Horny Goat Weed - The Ongoing Search for the Boner or an indicator of a Poor US Education System

Living Goddess of Nepal nothing godly about it

Sarah Palin Nude Painting - What is all the fuss about?

Jamie Lynn Spears Breast Feeding

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Ghost of Elvis

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Some bullshit about a "Man" Giving birth

Look mommy, it's Jeeeesus

Stupid Teenaged girls in Glouchester make a pregnancy pact

Stupid Florida Teens and their "Fire in the Hole" YouTube Prank

Strange sex laws

MILEY CYRUS SEX TAPE - Ya sick Fucks

STAR WARS DAY

Chad Kroeger (Turton) and Paris Hilton - Siamese Twins Separated at Birth

Stop the Insanity...

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Vancouver 2010 Blog
The Hunt for Jasmine Fiore's Killer
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DANIELLE LLOYD TOPLESS

NAKED PICTURES OF DANIELLE LLOYD

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